Page 68 of Puck Blocked
“Where are we going? Shouldn’t I get changed or something?” Montana asks.
“You look beautiful. You don’t need to change for what we’re doing.” I open the passenger door of my Rover and wait for her to jump inside before sliding into the driver’s seat. Then I turn on the ignition and look over to Montana. She really is the most beautiful person in the world. And she’s my wife. I will never stop being thankful for that.
An hour later, I pull the car into a lot. “Where are we?” Montana asks, looking out the windshield.
“Shannon Falls. I used to come here a lot when I first moved to Vancouver.” I climb out of the car and Montana is already stepping down by the time I reach her.
Taking her hand in mine, I lead her over to the walking track. Once we’re on the platform, I guide her to sit down. It’s surprisingly quiet here. It’s a major tourist spot, but today we’re practically the only ones here. The water cascades down in front of us.
“I used to come here to quiet the noise in my head,” I say. “I would sit and think about the good times, with Sean, with you.” I wrap my arm around her waist and kiss her temple. “We have a lifetime of great memories ahead of us, Tanna.”
“We do,” she agrees.
“What’s your favorite moment in time?” I ask her.
“The day I married you.” Montana smiles at me.
“Huh, mine too. But before that, what’s your favorite memory of Sean?”
“It’s… embarrassing.” She shakes her head and stares at her shoes.
“I doubt that. Tell me anyway,” I encourage her.
“When I got my period, I didn’t have a mom anymore. Girls are supposed to have a mom to talk to about that sort of thing. Dad didn’t know what to do. But Sean… He went to the store. He got me everything I needed. He talked to me about it and didn’t make me feel weird, you know? Like I said, it’s embarrassing.”
“I remember that.” Sean called me in a panic, and I was the one who told him what he needed to do. What to say to her. I’m not going to tell her that, though. I’m not taking that memory of her brother away from her. Because the important thing is he did it. He went to the store. He bought her the things she needed and he spent hours talking to her that day.
“How do you remember?” Montana asks.
“I called him, to hang out, and he blew me off.” I shrug.
“I think Sean was the only person who loved me. My entire life, he was the one person I knew would love me no matter what. And then, when he left, I was just… alone.”
I fucking hate myself for leaving her after Sean died. I wanted to be there for her. I just didn’t want to break the promise I made to my best friend. I didn’t want to tarnish his memory by going after his little sister. I should never have made that stupid promise in the first place. I was sixteen when I made it. I think Sean always knew I had a thing for Tanna. He made damn sure I never acted on it, though.
But I can’t dwell on the past anymore. This place. This is where I come to remember the good, not the bad.
“You know, when the bad memories get a hold of you, try to think about the good times,” I tell Montana. “I’m not saying it’ll help, but it might.”
“I thought they went away. I haven’t had a nightmare or a memory like that in a while, and I just… I guess I hoped I was fixed,” she says. “Today made me realize I’m probably never going to be fixed.”
“You can’t be fixed, Montana. Because like I said before and will repeat until you believe it too, you’re not broken.”
“I don’t even know where the grocery store is, Luke. I don’t know where to buy your snacks and I think Liam actually did eat them all.” She looks as if she’s put a lot of thought into this.
“It’s okay. It’s not that serious, Tanna. I can buy more snacks.”
“But I’m your wife. I’m supposed to do things like that.”
“Buy me snacks?” I raise an eyebrow at her. “I’m pretty sure, as my wife, you’re supposed to be my snack.”
Her face heats up and red creeps its way along her neck. “I… I want to do stuff. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
“You want to go grocery shopping? Let’s go. I’ll take you right now,” I tell her.
“Can you even go into a store without being recognized?
“I can.” I push to my feet, hold out a hand, and help Montana stand. I flinch when I see the twinge of pain on her face. “Fuck, I shouldn’t have made you sit on the ground,” I tell her.
