Page 39 of Puck Blocked
I ordered pizza while Montana was in the shower, the tacos finding a new home in the trash can. It’s wasteful, but I’m not feeding her cold or reheated shit. I lay the three boxes out on the table and then get two beers out of the fridge.
Montana walks into the dining room, her wet hair hanging over one shoulder. “You really are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” I tell her. “Come eat. I got your top three.” I point at the pizzas.
“What happened to the tacos?”
“They went cold.” I shrug.
“I could have reheated them. You didn’t need to order all this pizza,” she says. “It’s a lot.”
“But I knew you’d like a slice of each: pepperoni, bacon pesto, and pesto mozzarella. They’re still your favs, right?” I ask her. I watch as she looks down at the open boxes.
“I’m not allowed to eat pizza.”
My brows draw together. “What do you mean you’re not allowed to eat pizza?” I move the boxes around and Montana backs away from the table almost like she’s afraid the food is literally going to jump up and attack her.
She shakes her head. “I’m not allowed,” she repeats, but it’s as if she’s talking to herself more than me.
“Tanna, it’s okay.” I stop in front of her and she finally looks up at me. Her eyes glazed over.
“I can’t eat pizza.”
“Yes, you can. If you want to eat pizza, you can eat it,” I tell her.
“No, I’m not allowed. I’ll get in trouble. He’ll…” She stops herself.
My hands fist at my sides. That asshole didn’t let her eat fucking pizza. Fuck me.
“Tanna, he’s not here. He’s never going to hurt you again. I promise. You make your own rules now, remember? It’s up to you. Everything is up to you to decide for yourself. If you don’t want the pizza, I’ll get you something else. But you do need to eat.”
She looks at me for a long moment, neither of us saying a word as she processes whatever the fuck is going on in her head. “I can eat the pizza?” She says it more as a question.
I nod my head silently.
“I’m sorry. I just… I don’t know how to stop it,” she admits.
“Stop what?”
“His voice, in my head. It’s always there, reminding me of the rules.” She sighs. “The only time it’s quiet, the only time he’s not there, is when you’re touching me.”
I reach out and take hold of her hand. “Like this?”
Montana nods and I smile back at her.
“Well, it just so happens that I fucking love touching you, so get used to me being glued to you, babe.” I smirk. “Now, do you want to eat pizza? Or do you want something else?”
She appears to debate her decision for a minute before nodding again. “I want to eat the pizza.”
I guide Montana back over to the table. “Can you eat one-handed? Because I’m not letting go,” I tell her as I take my seat with her hand still firmly in mine. If my touch helps ground her, then I’ll be sure to never let go. It’s not like it’s a hardship.
Chapter Twenty-One
I’m nervous, but I want to do this. The alternative—staying in Luke’s big house alone—is less appealing than getting on Aliyah’s family jet and flying to Las Vegas to watch the Knights play. I’ve also never been to Vegas. I haven’t really traveled anywhere before.
When I mentioned to Luke that I didn’t have my passport, he grabbed a box from his garage and handed it to me. He explained how he went to my apartment the last time he was away and retrieved a few of my things. At first, I freaked out, until he said that there was no sign of Andrew and that the place had been ransacked.
I glanced inside the box and saw the few possessions I actually treasure, along with my passport and birth certificate. But most importantly, Luke found my brother’s jersey and the one framed picture I kept of Sean, Luke, and me. It was taken when I was thirteen and I had to hide it in the same box with Sean’s jersey. I don’t have a lot of things I’m attached to. I left most of my belongings at my father’s house.
Thoughts of my dad bring back all the hurtful things I said to him. I know I pushed him away, but he also gave up on me. A parent isn’t supposed to give up on their child, or at least that’s what I thought. In my experience, that’s all parents do though. First my mother, then my father.
