Page 16 of Tilly
“No. That was fucking amazing,” I tell her.
I wake up feeling like I’ve slept for twenty-four hours straight. I never sleep this solid.
But as soon as I pulled the covers over us and I felt her breathing even out last night, I closed my eyes and let myself rest.
I open my eyes and reach an arm out. Except the bed is empty, the sheets cold. I look around the room. She’s gone. I don’t need to get up to know that.
Fuck. She fucking left. Another first for me…
Chapter Nine
Ithought I would feel different. I don’t know why. I just did. But I don’t…
Well, I do. In a way. I feel like I’ve finally gotten something I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember. I also have this insatiable hunger for more.
I’m aware the chances of that happening are slim to none. Antonio doesn’t do girlfriends—not that I’ve ever seen—and I’m under no illusion that he’s going to start now just because I gave him my V-card. Let’s be honest, that thing was well past its expiration date anyway.
A smile forms on my lips when I recall just how sweet he was. How tender. Not at all what I was expecting from a man with eyes as black as night. He told me I deserved to be worshiped, and I was. He didn’t fuck me. Antonio made love to my body. And honestly, I’m glad I waited for him, because it was perfect. I couldn’t have asked for a better first-time experience.
Then again, I guess the morning after could have been better. I woke up early, looked at Antonio’s sleeping form, and freaked out a little. I didn’t want to deal with the awkwardness. I mean, what was I supposed to say?
Thanks for breaking through my barrier. See you around sometime?
I also didn’t want to face him when he told me that last night was a one-and-done kind of deal. I get that it was. But knowing it and hearing it are two different things. I can live the reality. Probably. If I don’t have to face him. If I avoid going back to that club and stay far away from anywhere that I know he’s likely to be.
I’ll always have that one night, and that’ll just have to be enough.
At least that’s what I’m telling myself as I make my way to my last class of the day. Sitting down at the back of the lecture hall, I pull out my laptop and fire it up. I’m early, but that’s not unusual for me. I like to be prepared.
Ten minutes later, Rosa drops onto the seat next to mine. “You’ve been MIA all weekend. And you still haven’t told us what you got up to with that mob boss of yours,” she whispers.
“First of all, he’s not a mob boss—that’s hearsay.” I roll my eyes. I might know the truth, but I’m not stupid enough to confirm the rumors to anyone else, not even my best friends. “And, secondly, he’s certainly not mine.”
Rosa’s eyes trail up and down my body. “You had sex!” she squeals, and my hand shoots out to cover her mouth.
“Shh, oh my god!” I look around the lecture hall, but no one appears to be paying us any mind. “Wait. How can you tell?” I ask, feeling very self-conscious all of a sudden.
Can everyone tell? Is there like a big neon sign written on my forehead? Matilda V lost her V?
Rosa peels my hand away from her mouth. “I couldn’t tell, not for sure. But you just admitted it. So… how was it?” she asks with a grin.
I smile. “Better than I ever thought it could be.” My thoughts drift to images of Antonio’s naked body on top of mine.
“Shit, really? Your first? Did you come?”
“Three times,” I tell her. I’m counting the orgasm he gave me in his office, because, well, it counts.
“Man, does he have a brother? I need to get me one of these mobsters. Wait! Is your cousin still single?” She lifts her eyebrows up and down suggestively.
“Which one?” I shake my head, thinking better of it. “Actually, no, they’re not. Doesn’t matter which one, and my cousins are not mobsters, Rosa.” I laugh.
“Mhmm, okay. Well, when are we seeing Antonio again?” she hums.
“We?”
“Uh-huh, I’m living vicariously through you, Little Miss Three-Orgasms-In-One-Night.” Rosa sighs wistfully.
“I’m not seeing him again. Friday was a onetime thing.” I shrug like it’s no big deal. Like I haven’t thought about it all weekend. Like I haven’t wanted him for as long as I can remember. Like having a taste isn’t worse than not having one. Because now I know what I’m missing out on.
