Page 64 of Light It Up Red
“That’s awfully dramatic, babe,” he says.
“It’s the truth. Do you know how many funerals I’ve attended in my life?” I ask him.
“No,” he says.
“Fifty-seven.” I throw my hands in the air. “I’ve been to fifty-seven funerals, and I will not make yours fifty-eight. Because that’ll be the one that ends me.”
“That’s not going to happen. You really think anything in this world is going to make me leave you, Lili? Not even you can prevent me from keeping you.” Travis closes the gap between us.
“Please don’t…” I ask him, my voice shaky.
“I love you, Lili. I love you so fucking much that I’m going out of my mind at the thought of losing you.”
“I’m doing this because I love you, Travis,” I attempt to explain.
“No, you’re doing this because you’re scared,” he repeats.
“Of course I’m fucking scared!” I yell at him. “I got a phone call telling me you were shot while I was thousands of miles away. I had to look at you lying motionless in that hospital bed. I spent hours wondering if you were going to live, if you were going to wake up. So, yes, I’m scared. I’m fucking terrified. Of you dying. Of something happening to you that I can’t control. Of losing you for good.”
“You’re not the only one who’s scared here, Lili. I’m fucking terrified of losing you too. I can’t. I won’t. So whatever bullshit is going on in your head, get rid of it. You and me are end game. There is no other option. You say you want me to live, but I’m standing here telling you that I won’t—can’t live without you. I’m dying here, babe.” He shakes his head. “How can I live without the one person in the world who makes me feel more alive than I ever have before? How can I live without the person who is my reason for living? That’s you, in case you were wondering. You are mine, Liliana Valentino, and nothing is going to change that. Ever,” he says.
My knees buckle. His closeness, his words… it’s all too much. I fall to the ground as sobs rack my body. Travis curses as he follows me down. His arms close around me and he pulls me tight against his chest.
“Lili, you’re breaking my fucking heart,” he whispers.
“Better to be broken than buried,” I reply through my tears.
“I disagree.” His lips press onto my forehead. “I’d rather not live at all than live in a world where you’re not mine.”
“I’ll always be yours,” I tell him. “I just can’t be with you.”
Travis rocks me back and forth, his hands rubbing soothing circles along my spine. “I love you,” he repeats over and over again.
“Sometimes love isn’t enough, Travis. Love doesn’t guarantee you a happy ending.”
“Our love does. You’ll see,” he says.
“I just need space. I just need some time. I need to go home.”
“Your home is here, with me.”
“I’m sorry.” I pull myself out of his arms. That’s when I notice the blood seeping through his sweatshirt. “Travis, you’re bleeding!” I shriek. “Shit. Oh my god.” I jump to my feet, run to the door, and swing it open. “Alessandro, Enzo, Dad!” I list off every name I can think of.
“Lili, I’m fine,” Travis grunts.
“You’re not fine,” I yell at him.
My dad and cousin come running up the stairs. With guns in their hands. Without a word, my father reaches out and throws me behind him.
“What the fuck?” he hisses when he peers into the room and sees Travis still on the bedroom floor.
“He’s bleeding. Get a doctor,” I tell him.
“Liliana, do not scream bloody murder when there’s not an actual fucking murderer in the goddamn house,” Dad huffs while holstering his weapon.
“Dad, he needs a doctor.” I run back into the room and lift Travis’s sweatshirt. I should have looked sooner. I should have found something to stop the bleeding.
“Is this all I had to do to get you to undress me, babe?” Travis looks at me with a smirk playing on his lips.
