Page 84 of Easy Out

I ease open the top drawer and bark out a laugh. Right on top is a voodoo doll of me, if I had to guess. I will be asking her about that later. I drop it beside me on her bed.

Underneath the doll are two photographs. One of a beautiful blonde woman with blue eyes. She is looking into the camera with the biggest smile on her face. This has to be Lauren’s mom. While she doesn’t have her coloring, she has a similar facial structure and body type.

The other photograph is of the same woman and a little girl with dark brown hair. Mi cariño. I flip the photo over to see if there is a date, and I’m confused.

Alessa Wilson, 7yo

This isn’t Lauren?

“Sorry, that took so long. Charlie wouldn’t let up. It looks like we need to find costumes,” she says sheepishly. Lauren stops moving when she notices the photos in my hand. “I see you’ve managed to entertain yourself.”

“Who’s Alessa?”

“Me.” My eyes go wide. “I’m Alessa.” Lauren walks toward me with caution. There is a part of her that thinks this will make me run. Never happening.

She picks up the doll before taking a seat. “This is an inside joke with Sydney. She has one for her professor.” She throws the doll back into the open drawer.

“That’s my mom. It’s the only photo I have left of her.”

“She’s beautiful. Like you.” Lauren shakes her head.

“I look nothing like her.”

“You have her nose.” I drag a finger down the bridge of Lauren’s nose. “And her cheekbones.” I trace a line over her freckles. “And her chin.” I give her a pinch.

“You think so?” I nod. “I always felt like I looked like a stranger.”

“No, cariño. I see you in this photo.”

“My dad, whoever he is, took this picture of her when they first met. That’s why she’s so happy.” Lauren takes the photo of her mom out of my hands. “Then he found out about me and never came back.”

“I don’t believe that. There has to be more to the story.”

“Maybe, but I’ll never know.”

“Tell me about your name. You changed it?” I move around on the bed, so I’m leaning against her headboard. Then I lift her onto my lap.

“I did as soon as I turned eighteen. I stopped being Alessa the day I stepped foot inside the group home. I hated that girl. She was alone and sad. Nobody wanted Alessa.” Her voice is quiet and broken.

“When I started high school, my counselor talked to me about college and what it would take to get a scholarship. At the beginning of my senior year, she showed me one for Newhouse. I knew immediately this school was for me. Alabama was going to be my fresh start.

“I turned eighteen, changed my name, applied to school, and never looked back.”

“Do you regret it? Changing your name. Your identity.”

“No. I’m happy. I’m glad I did it. I needed to. I couldn’t be that scared little girl anymore.”

“I’m glad you did it too. Alessa Wilson wouldn’t have been my partner in Morelli’s class.” She smiles, and it’s big enough to nourish me for months.

“True. Do you think we would still be here like this if we weren’t?”

“Yes,” I answer immediately. “I knew I had to spend more time with you after the night at The Warehouse.”

“I thought you hated me. You were so mad when I was standing next to you. And when you got in my car, you were furious.”

“You’re right. I was mad, but not at you. Never you. I had just had words with Matt, and then your car door was unlocked. If I didn't stop him, he could have gotten to you. Anyone could have got to you. You left yourself vulnerable. It infuriated me.”

“We’ve come a long way, huh? I remember the first time I saw you.” Lauren snuggles closer, wrapping her arms around my middle. She blindly traces a tattoo on my back with her fingers. We really have come a long way.

---