Page 69 of Easy Out

Is this what Lauren does? Is she friendly with everyone until they are under her little spell? I thought…I thought she reserved those parts of herself for me, but now I’m not sure.

I feel like I’ve tricked myself into thinking there is more between us than there is. I don’t know what to believe anymore.

Sitting down on the edge of my bed, I rest my forearms on my knees. I’m acutely aware of Lauren watching my every move. I scrub my face and run my hand through my hair. Anything to erase these feelings of insecurity.

“James.” James. I hate that name. It’s my father’s name. The man who all but forgot and left me because I didn’t turn out to be the perfect son he wanted. The day he said his final goodbye I had all my friends start calling me Hart.

Hearing my name from Lauren’s lips makes the name take on a whole new meaning. It isn’t my father’s name I hear anymore. It’s mine. Lauren calling me James puts all my senses on high alert. As if she’s saying ‘Pay attention. Something important is about to happen.’

Lauren steps in between my knees and I wrap my arms around her thighs. My head burrows into her diaphragm just under her chest. Her hands gently stroke my back and into my hair like she is calming a wild animal.

“What happened tonight?” Lauren asks. I’m not ready to talk. I push myself further into her hold.

I’ve never been one to share my feelings openly. I’ve never put words to my fears or insecurities. I think my mom knows my father left a stab wound in my heart, but over the years it has healed. At least I thought.

“Did you have fun?” My question is meant to sound neutral but comes out tinged in the jealousy I’m trying to hide.

“Yes. The food was amazing. Your mom is a really good cook.”

“Sí.”

“James.” Her hands guide my face away from her body. “Talk to me.” Lauren runs her thumb against my stubbled cheek.

“Why are you calling me James?”

“It’s your name, isn’t it?”

“But everyone calls me Hart.” Her eyes search mine. I hope she can see how much I want this. How much I want her.

“Maybe I don’t want to be like everyone else.”

"What do you want to be, cariño?" My hands seek out the bare skin on her back. I slowly run my calloused fingers along the edge of the elastic band of her bra.

Lauren squirms and rubs her thighs together. “More.” Her words are a breath of air. Lauren’s lips ghost over mine. The word is simple, but it has the power of a tsunami powering through every limb. “I want to be more to you.”

“And if you are more to me, than what am I to you?” I hate how vulnerable I sound.

“Home. You’re my home, James.” Lauren’s hands explore my face, my neck, my shoulders. It’s a slow, torturous pursuit that lights up every nerve ending in my body. “You’re where I belong.” Her words make my body tremor.

My lips start a quest up and down her neck. Licking, kissing, and sucking. “Are we doing this, cariño? You and me.”

“Yes,” she whispers and fuck me if that isn’t the sweetest sound. My cock fights to get past the zipper of my jeans. “Is that what you are worried about? That I wasn’t in this with you?” Lauren’s eyes are greener tonight, but the ring of gold in the center glows.

I blow out a shallow breath. “I didn’t like how friendly Marco was with you. He was too relaxed and too pleased to be in your presence. It made me wonder if that’s what you do.”

“What?”

"Put a spell on those around you, brujita. Make people like you and fall for your charms. I felt it the first night. I thought it was just for me, but now…" I shrug.

“I’m not interested in Enzo, Marco or any other guy for that matter.”

“Okay, cariño.”

“You almost sound convinced. You said you would show me that you’re someone I can count on.”

“Sí. I did. I meant it." I kiss her now. I’ve been dying to kiss her again since I did it earlier tonight. Nothing is sweeter than the taste of Lauren’s lips.

My thumb is wet and I realize Lauren is crying. “Lauren? What’s wrong, cariño? No llores mi amor." Don’t cry my sweetheart. I cradle her in my arms.

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