"And what of you?" I write, my hand shaking with suppressed anger. "Can I trust you to act with honesty and integrity as my husband?”
The Shepherd's laughter fills the room, a cold, hollow sound that makes my blood turn to ice. "Humm, you’re already calling me your husband? I like this word in your naughty mouth.”
Ew.
I’m mute, how can he even say such a thing?
The man standing in front of me has nothing to do with the leader I’m used to seeing each Sunday morning at the Chapel. So there’s two sides to him.
Vox isn’t wrong, Rose, you know it.
He scoffs before continuing. “And trust?" His eyes flash with malice. "Trust is for the foolish, child. But rest assured, you, my wife, will never have to think of such serious topics. You'll stay home with our children, keeping our bed warm for me to take you whenever I want.”
His words hang in the air like a dark cloud, casting a shadow over me.
I used to, god, I used to admire him. How could I’ve been so stupid?
I realize that he is nothing more than a manipulative puppeteer pulling the strings of our lives for his own twisted amusement.
I could have asked about the disappearing girls, about the guns, about why a man like him would be seen in a motorcycle club. But really, all I needed was already said. How little he cared for the community, how he switched to another side of him, darker and twisted, far from the warm appearance he usually offered. How much he didn't care about me, my wants or how he diminished me to my feminine parts, the only thing that truly interested him.
Vox was right.
This man, whom I once thought to be a pillar of strength and integrity, is nothing but a manipulative impostor, using his position of power to bend others to his will. I can feel the weight of his gaze bearing down on my body, his eyes glinting with malice. He is not the man I thought he was. He is not the leader our community deserves. He is nothing but a wolf in sheep's clothing, preying on the innocent and vulnerable for his own selfish gain.And yet, even as the realization settles in, a part of me hesitates to fully accept it.
Has my entire life been a lie from the beginning?
The Ascendium, my classmates, my parents, each of my prayers before bed talking to the Divine, it can't be all false. Maybe this man is an imposter, but everything I've ever known, my beliefs, my prayers, there must be some truth to it. I did not devote my life to a fantasy.
What if I did?
Shaking my head slightly, I take a deep breath.
No, not everything is false. It can't be. I couldn't face it, losing every pillar of my existence in a cloud of dust.
Deep down you know it, Rose.
Tears fill my eyes and I do all I can to not let them fall onto my cheeks. I don't want him to see me vulnerable, not now, not ever.
I want Vox right now.
So, so badly.
Only he can make it all better.
Keeping my composure, I write and stand abruptly, needing to get out before having the panic attack I feel rising in my chest.
“Thank you so much, Holy Shepherd, I won't take more of your precious time.” Nodding, I grab my bag and head to the door.
“Not so fast, little lamb.” A shiver runs on my shoulders like a cold breeze. “Don't you want to give your fiancé a goodbye kiss, child?”
A kiss?
Hell no.
This is too much.
The only man I want to kiss is wearing leather and drives a metal beast that roars like a lion. The only man I'll ever want to feel the touch of has the voice of an old soul embodied in a Greek god with blue eyes I could get lost in forever.