Page 41 of Whispers of Fire

“Your dear Leader buy guns from my club to sell to another gang,” I state blankly, like a cold truth that needed to be said. "He's not the saintly figure you've been led to believe. And I can't stay fuckin' silent watchin’ ya get trapped in this thing.”

Rose's eyes widen in shock, her hand trembling as she processes the revelation. She looks at me with a mixture of fear and disbelief, shaking her head like I just told her a lie. I can almost hear her lips sayin’ over and over, “No, no, no.”

“It's true, Rose, it's the fuckin’ truth.” Her smile disappears, looking at me with daggers coming from her blue pools, watching me like a stranger she must be wary of.

No. Fuck. No.

Is she mad at me because I deal with weapons?

Or is she shocked about the news of her freaking Shepherd?

I'm startin’ to spiral like a fuckin' maniac.

“Rose, please, talk to me, don't push me away.” I'm shocked at what just came out of my mouth.

Since when did I ever beg for someone to stay near me?

Not since the day I saw life escapin’ my little brother's eyes when I was begging for him to stay with me in the car crash.

Don't think about it, stay right here with Rose .

She takes the notebook and scribbles fast. Her writing is suddenly harsher than before.

“I don't believe you. It's all a LIE. Perhaps YOU are the one who wants to trap me. You're the criminal dealing with GUNS!” She underlines the last word. Her note hits me like a punch in the face.

What I was fuckin’ afraid of just happened .

She's turning her back on me as I follow her, tryin’ to make it all alright again even though I know it's too late. But perhaps I can still make her change her mind.

Perhaps .

Trying to calm my voice down, I inhale and gather myself.

“You can run away, Rose, but deep down, you know I’m not the one who’s tryin’ to hurt ya. I'm not the one pushin’ ya to do things you can't stomach the idea of and I'm not the one hittin’ your fingers and drownin’ your head in the fuckin' tub,” I say, more harshly than I wished. I'm too fuckin' overwhelmed to cool down as my mind is desperately tryin’ to keep her close anyway I can. Right now, all I want is for her to realise that the people she cares for are not doin’ her right, that it's all been a fuckin’ lie since day one. And if all I've got is now to hit her with the truth, then I'm takin’ it.

“I get you don't want to trust me on this, but–just look then. Just open your eyes and see who's truly takin’ care of ya.” I step towards her, towering over her petite figure.

“Those people, your folks, they just want ya to follow them blindly, but you know that's not meant for ya. Otherwise you wouldn't be here with me, you wouldn't try to find other ways to exist.” She flinches.

Good, I struck a chord.

Her eyes fill with tears, making me want to step to her and make them go away but it's not the time.

“Tell me I'm wrong, Rose, tell me it's all been a mistake, you coming here, and I fuckin’ swear I won't bother you anymore.”

That's the last blow, the last thing I say before she collapses on the floor as I reach for her and manage to grab her body before it touches the ground. She's shaking like a leaf, fisting my t-shirt like I'm about to disappear, her head crushed in my neck. Can feel my t-shirt dampen at the amount of tears fallin’. She raises her face toward me, shaking her head and patting my heart with her palm.

So no, she doesn't think we, whatever the fuck we are, is wrong .

I exhale loudly, my body relaxing a bit at knowin’ that she won't push me away.

“Thought you'd never talk to me again,” I say, squeezing her body even closer to mine, her legs straddling my thighs, both of us sat on the floor of my living room. I'm suddenly aware of our position and try to remove myself to not make her feel uncomfortable, even though I fuckin' burn for her.

But when I try to let her go, she nestles herself even closer to me, her legs locking my waist like she never wants to let go. I take her face in my hand like a crystal glass ready to shatter, wondering what she's thinking. And I think I get it, she's shaking her head in disbelief but also in a sort of warm way, her eyes swingin’ from my eyes to my lips. She keeps her arms around my neck and lets her forehead fall on mine.

“I know it’s not what you wanted to hear,” I murmur. Because she was born in such a shitty situation, I can’t help but feel sorry for my angel.

A sad smile dances on her face. She’s gonna need time to accept this truth but maybe one day she will. I try to fight the relief of this sight, keepin’ my walls up, but it's fuckin' hard especially when we’re this close, my arms now on her neck and lower back, her curves meltin’ into my body like a perfect fuckin’ puzzle.

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