Page 33 of Towles

“You could have called,” Ethan said to Rose.

“I did, Ethan. You’re always too busy to answer.”

Ethan sighed. He nodded. He did need to slow down and maybe take a vacation.

“I’m sorry, Rose.” He looked at his phone. “The funeral home sent me a message. Mom’s and Dad’s ashes are ready. Follow me there. You can ride with April.”

Rose and I climbed into my car and pulled out of the parking lot, following Ethan.

“He’s a mess. You know that, right?” Rose said. “You can’t fix something that is permanently broken.” She wore tight jeans and a Rolling Stones tee. I wanted to tell her we were all broken, including her, but she had an air about her that suggested being high-strung. Before I said she and Ethan were alike, we needed to move from strangers to friends.

“He’s working through a lot,” I said, and she nodded. “Your brother is a good man. The club really likes him, and people respect his decision-making. It wasn’t his fault what happened to your parents, but he blames himself for everything.”

“I believe he is a good man,” she said. “Our older brother doesn’t. That’s where the problem lies. I commend Ethan for coming out here and leading the life he wants to lead. He’d never been happy in California. That’s why Mom and Dad were in Pine Bluff. Dad wanted to personally, in person, tell Ethan how proud he was. That Ethan had done something Dad never had the balls to do—leave what’s comfortable and live life like it should be lived.”

Damn. Ethan needed to hear those words from his father. We all needed to hear those words from those who supposedly loved us. Ethan believed in giving unconditional love, and that’s all he asked in return. “You’re going to tell him that, right?”

“Of course.” She looked away way too fast when I turned to look at her. I’d been reading people long enough to know when they didn’t want you to know what was on the next page. I didn’t push Rose. I wanted to allow Ethan to figure it out. To find out what his sister was hiding.

We pulled into the empty funeral home parking lot a little after dark. A man who reminded me of Lurch from the old Adams Family TV show showed up at the door. Even his voice was deep.

As we followed him to his office, we passed a room where a closed casket sat alone. I glanced at the picture of a man sitting on the table at the room’s entrance.

“What’s wrong?” Ethan asked. He and Rose looked at the picture of the man. “April.” Ethan put his arm around mine. He said nothing as he urged me away.

The funeral director handed Ethan and Rose three small urns. “It was your parents' wishes that their ashes be combined. Three boxes for three siblings.”

“Thank you,” Ethan said, and we left. I glanced at the picture once again as we passed by. The man in the casket was the man I shot at the river.

I’d spent most of my life explaining to people that violence was not a means to an end. We should always look for alternative solutions. When I pulled that trigger, not only had I killed a man, but I killed an idea I believed in. Sometimes, violence was the only means to an end.

Rose got into the car, and Ethan gave her his two urns. “Bring her to the club. You can both stay there tonight. Once we get straight with what I have going on in the morning, we’ll get your living situation figured out.” He looked in on Rose. “Where are you staying?”

Rose shrugged. “I didn’t plan that far in advance?”

“Wait.” Ethan looked in the backseat of the car. The light bulb in his head was starting to come on. “You don’t have any luggage.”

“Yeah. About that. We probably need to talk when we get to your club.” Rose turned and looked straight ahead.

Ethan took a deep breath and tapped the roof of the car. “I’ll see you in a few.” He climbed on his bike and pulled away from the parking lot, with too many things on his mind to look back to ensure we followed.

I started the car but went nowhere. “Think you could give me a heads up?”

Rose pursed her lips. “Mom and Dad were here for another reason. This guy I was seeing got violent one night and slapped me around. When I tried to break things off, he got more violent. He told me if I tried to break things off, he would kill me. He tried, but I got away.”

“Your parents were here to ask Ethan for help dealing with this man,” I guessed. Again, I thought about the man I murdered. We lived in a violent world, and there was no escape for any of us, including therapists.

“Dad tried to talk to the man, but they argued. The argument turned into a fistfight, but Dad didn’t last long.” Rose ran her fingers around the urns. Tears raced down her cheeks. “The guy told me if I left, he would kill my parents.”

“Fuck,” I said, and Rose nodded.

“He was in a motorcycle club as well. A California chapter of the Street Punishers.” Rose whimpered, and the tears poured. “It was my fault those men shot our parents. My parents were trying to help me.”

“If he knew your parents were coming here, then he knows you’re here,” I said. “You need to tell Ethan as soon as we get to the club.”

“I will. I don’t want him dead, too.”

I pulled from the parking lot, and when I stopped at the next light, I turned and said, “You also need to let your older brother know it wasn’t Ethan’s fault. He feels like total shit, thinking this is all on his shoulders. If he knows he can help fix this, it’ll go a long way in helping him heal.”

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