Page 87 of Nevada

“Don’t worry about him. He ended up getting locked up for fraud, so he’s doing time right now. It was years ago, but you never really forget your first love. Even though it was bad and toxic, there was a strange comfort in sticking with what you know, or so I thought back then.”

He cups my face. “I’ll never let anyone hurt you, Estelle. That I can promise you.”

“Sometimes I need to hear that,” I whisper. “I know I’m a lot. A handful. A tough talker. I can fight and swear like a sailor and pretty much get out of any situation, but now and again, I crave for a man to just have my back. Not prop me up, but be there for me when I fall.”

He stares at me, his brow furrowed. He’s so beautiful in the moonlight. It’s like he’s not real. “I never really understood that, and maybe I still don’t because I don’t know what this is, but I want you to know that I’ve never felt this way before.” He pulls my hand and places it over his heart. His skin is warm to the touch and I feel my throat thickening. “It isn’t just sex, though that is more amazin’ than I could’ve imagined. I meant every single word I said. When I saw you that first night and you kicked me on my ass, I fell in love with you. Then when you crashed Priest’s weddin’, it only cemented the fact that I wanted you, and not just for the night. You had my heart then, baby blue. You have all of me now. Every single beat of my heart is for you.”

Are my ears deceiving me? Did he just say… “You fell in love with me?”

“Yeah. Hook, line, sinker. I was done. Gone. I couldn’t sleep. Eat. I didn’t want another woman touchin’ me, it felt disloyal, and comin’ from me who had a couple of different women every week, it’s not a small thing.”

My heart races in my chest, my palm pressing harder. “I want to believe that this connection isn’t just physical.”

“It’s not. You feel it too, you know you do, but you won’t let yourself fall because you’ve had to stand on your own two feet and fight the world by yourself. But you don’t have to do that anymore. I’m here. I’m on your team.” He cups my face. “I will fight to the death to find out what happened to your sister. I keep my promises, and this is important to you, so it’s important to me.”

“I appreciate what you’ve done for me. I’ve never really been in love before,” I admit. “What I thought was love, never truly was. It was just puppy love. Infatuation. He filled a void that was missing, and I believed his lies. I knew back then I had a lot of growing up to do, but I never imagined I’d find a man who truly got me like you do.”

He presses his lips to mine. “I will never turn my back on you or hurt you. If spankin’ you made you uncomfortable?—”

I run my hand up his arm, feeling his thick bicep. “That’s different. I wanted it. It was for pleasure. You’d never put your hands on me like he did. I know that.”

“We never have to do anythin’ that you don’t want.”

“But I do want it. I want all of it, Nevada. I have… I do have feelings for you.” I can’t tell him that I’ve fallen just as much as he has. I have to keep something to myself. That way, when this ‘honeymoon’ period is over and he forgets about me, I can tell myself he didn’t get my entire soul.

“Well, that’s better than just sayin’ you want my dick.”

“But I do.”

“Yeah, and I get that. It’s not a small thing.” His lips twitch. “But I want you to want more than that. I want you to want me. Me.”

“I do want you…” The words slip out before I can stop them.

His tongue comes out and presses down his bottom lip as he watches me. He’s so intense like this, nothing like the jokester I’m used to. A man who tattoos a fucking constellation on his dick for me? He’s unhinged. And I find myself loving it.

“Nevada, I want you more than I can say in words…” I trail off. “I’ve never been good at expressing myself, and when I talk to you, I feel this weight being lifted.”

“I like that.”

“I like it too, but it makes me vulnerable. It takes me to places I’ve never been before.”

“It makes me vulnerable too,” he says. “But I’ve never cared much about what other people think. I do care about what you think, though. In fact, that’s all I care about.”

“Here I was thinking you were just a pretty fuck boy.”

A slow smile spreads across his face. “I can be that, too.”

My cheeks flush. “That ass thing was… hot.”

“Your body is hot. I can’t control myself around you. At the club, when all those men were watchin’ you. I wanted to fuck you in front of them, show them who you belong to.”

Who you belong to.

Again, my heart doesn't constrict out of fear or terror, it constricts because I feel that surge of love between us. Do I love him?

“And I belong to you?”

“You know you do.”

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