Page 75 of Scarred Souls

“Don’t look at my hands, Vaughn. Keep your eyes on mine.”

He did, and his grip adjusted on my waist like it reassured him. This truly terrified him, and it was heartbreaking to witness such a strong, unyielding man at the mercy of someone as unintimidating as me. That he trusted me enough to try this was both surprising and flattering.

“It’s just you and me here,” I said in a soothing voice. “You know I’m not going to hurt you.”

He gave a sharp nod, so I moved in again. When my palms met Vaughn’s damp skin, his spine stiffened.

I gave him a moment to acclimate. “Are you okay?”

“I’m all right. Keep going.” His voice came out strained.

“Remember. Eyes on me,” I said, and he gave another nod.

I let my palms travel over his bulky shoulders and continued lower until they rested over Vaughn’s hard tattooed pecs. The ridges of repaired skin created a strange sensation against my fingertips. To keep a level head, I tried my hardest not to think about how those injuries had come to be. The last thing Vaughn needed was me getting visibly upset over what had been done to him. I didn’t want him to think about his torture at all. I wanted him to focus on the here and now so he could associate touch with something other than fear, pain, and helplessness.

Beneath my right hand, Vaughn’s heart pounded a thunderous staccato. His breaths became rapid, and his fingers clung to my waist. With each swift inhalation, his nostrils flared. He reminded me of a caged lion who’d been prodded and shocked one too many times and was seconds from lashing out so he could escape.

Shit. Maybe I’d underestimated how difficult this might be.

“Take a deep breath. You’re fine, and you’re not going to hurt me. Nothing bad is going to happen. I won’t let it. You’re in complete control, and if you want to take a break, we can.” I kept my hands still while he again got used to the feel of them.

A muscle ticced in his jaw. “It’s…uncomfortable.”

“I know. You’re being so brave. Remember why we’re doing this. I want to help you get better. You do so much to help other people. It’s time to let someone help you.”

We’d taken a big step to get this far, and I didn’t want to push him over a ledge. I really had no clue what I was doing, but maybe if we worked through Vaughn’s symptoms, we could figure out a way to validate and deal with them.

Here went nothing.

“Keep your focus on me, and know that it’s my hands touching you. Then tell me what you’re feeling.”

He shifted on his feet and swallowed thickly. “Dizzy. Hot. I feel like I need to protect myself. Like I want to run or fight my way out of this, and it’s taking every ounce of willpower not to react the way I always do.”

Violently.

Maybe it was best if we didn’t focus on his negative response. Time for plan B.

I stared up into Vaughn’s dark-brown eyes. They screamed, Help me. Save me. And God, I wished I could spare him from this fresh torture, but it might be the only way for him to move forward. “Let me tell you what I’m feeling. Your skin is firm and warm. The muscles beneath my palms feel strong and capable. But I know you’d never use them to hurt me. You won’t let anyone hurt me. You’re my protector, Vaughn, and holding on to you like this makes me feel safe.”

He angled his head, wearing a baffled expression. “Touching me makes you feel safe?”

“Yes. Touch can elicit a lot of pleasurable emotions. It can be relaxing and soothing, or it can be exciting and arousing. You’ve forgotten that, and I want to remind you.”

One side of his lips tilted up. “Now I’m disappointed you didn’t say touching me excites you.”

I failed to hide my smile. “Maybe it does…a little.”

Lies.

Touching Vaughn excited me far more than I cared to let him know. I needed to remember that I was here to help him overcome his fears, not ogle him. Still, I couldn’t deny that having my hands on his broad tattooed chest had my stomach doing flips and heat building between my thighs.

On the upside, he didn’t seem as flighty as he’d been earlier.

“Only a little?” Vaughn tugged me toward him, and suddenly, the position we were in felt intimate. Like two lovers coming together in the water.

“That depends.” I lifted my chin. “Do you still feel like running away from me?”

“Not as much as before.”

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