Page 64 of Borrowing My Bestie's Brothers

I had a sixth sense when it came to the guys, some part of me always aware of where they were. I felt Hayden come closer rather than heard him move, then saw one hand come to rest on the edge of the sink. He was leaning over me, his breath ruffling the baby hairs on the back of my neck, and that brought it all back.

The moment when the fun became something else.

I’d intended to play along and kiss Hayden when he claimed that as his prize. It felt like we were playing a game of chicken, each watching the other to see if they would flinch away. But neither of us did, and that changed things. We’d both moved around his mother’s kitchen, even collided, and there was none of the heavy atmosphere there was right now. Sure enough, I turned around and found his face hovering over mine. It was different now. I felt like I’d almost lost something, a brotherly kind of vibe, and that had me frowning.

“What do you have to apologise for?”

I didn’t mean that to be accusatory, but it came out that way anyway. His tongue flicked out, sliding over lips, chapped and reddened by salt and the sun.

“I… Hunt…”

“Not him.” I shook my head sharply. “What do you have to apologise for?”

My finger had risen of its own accord, poking his chest, but if I was trying to make a point, I quickly lost track of it. His hand wrapped around mine, holding it where it was, forcing my palm to flatten against his chest. The skin was hot, gritty with sand, but there was more than that. Below, I could feel his heart beating so damn fast. It was a twin of my own, both of our heartbeats racing the other as the moment stretched on.

“I would’ve told you,” he said finally, trying to smile and failing. “At any point you liked. Last night, last year, and any year before that. In high school?—”

“High school?” I went to jerk away, but he held me fast. “You had every straight girl in the school panting after you, and also a gay girl who got really confused at one point.”

“Laney?” He shook his head. “I didn’t give a shit about any of them. Just you.”

It was tempting to consider what that meant, what it would’ve been like if he’d made clear how he felt. What would I have done about it? Part of me was still sixteen and thrilled that one of the cool boys liked me, but the other part…? I remembered my anger from last night, and that had me pushing him back.

“But you didn’t.” I flicked the kettle on and spooned instant coffee into the cups, then added a metric fuck tonne of sugar to mine. “You didn’t, Hayden. You didn’t tell me that last night was a real date, that it was a real kiss.”

“And if I did?”

He was back to crowding me, filling my nose with the scent of the sea and boy, until I was forced to wave him back so I could get to the fridge. The milk carton felt pleasantly cool against my skin. I focussed on pouring the right amount into each mug, not his question, because I think we both knew the answer.

I’d have freaked out, just like I was doing now.

Him, Hunter, even Brock, it was easy to check them out surreptitiously, even sigh over them like I had the twins in high school. Back then they were as distant as gods and worshipped by everyone around me in the same way. Now… He was a guy in my kitchen, barely dressed. A man I’d kissed, but more than that. As I stared into his eyes, mutely trying to answer his question, we both knew.

Our history stretched out between us, a million little moments that were all woven together into a rich fabric. Kissing him for real pulled one or more of those threads, and then what would happen?

“I wouldn’t have kissed you,” I replied, sounding oh so prim.

“Right.”

“I wouldn’t have gone on that date. If I knew there were real feelings there, I wouldn’t have led you on.”

“So protective of my feelings,” he said, eyes shining with a dangerous light. “Thanks for that.”

“I would’ve stuck to my story and told Mum I’d broken up with you guys.” My words were coming faster and faster. “I would’ve said you weren’t interested in meeting her. Shit, I would’ve even confessed you were all made up?—”

“That’s not it,” he said, eyes flicking to take all of me in. “Your pulse isn’t jumping in your throat because you’re worried about my feelings. It isn’t altruism that’s got you gripping the kitchen counter like that.” I looked down and saw my knuckles were white. “I’m sorry I wasn’t upfront with you, Jamie, but I didn’t tell you for a reason.”

His throat bobbed as the kettle really began to bubble.

“Part of me just wanted whatever I could get, and if it was fake, then so be it. I’d still be with you, taking you out, showing you a good time, as if you really were my girl. But the other part?” One brow raised. “I had to know. If you were forced to see me as a man, not Millie’s brother, how would you respond?”

We both knew how that’d gone. In the end, I’d ended up kissing him just as much as he kissed me.

“So what did you see happening?” I replied. “That I’d date each one of you in turn? Kiss you?” I stared into his eyes. “Sleep with you, like I did Brock?” That small flinch told me everything I needed to know. “Just bounce from one bed to the other, or shit, end up in one with all three of you.”

Yep, that jaw muscle was beginning to tick.

“I shouldn’t have slept with my own boss, but at the time, I thought it was no big deal. Just two people getting the other person off, but he had to bring feelings into things.” The kettle was close to boiling, so I went to push him away, but this time he stayed right where he was. I looked up angrily now, but he didn’t back down for a second. “You all did.”

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