Page 56 of Never Too Late

I’m nothing.

Noticing Dax’s face changing from happiness to concern, I quickly shake the thought from my head.

I’m safe. I’m here. I made it out.

Dax has always been smaller, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit I enjoyed the weight on top of me. I move one hand to his hip, while the other hand goes directly to the chain hanging around his neck.

He never took them off.

I then move my hand to his other hip, lifting my own up in an attempt to make him stay in bed longer. He nervously bites his bottom lip as he waits for my response.

“I know what you’re doing. But I need to go to work. I’ll come back after if you want me to?”

“Are you really asking that question?”

“Well, I don’t know, maybe you’re sick of me. You might want your own space back.”

“I just got you back. You’re not getting rid of me again. I’ll always want you here. I never realised how empty this house, or my life was without you. It’s where you belong. You belong with me.” Dax blushes. his pale skin turning a shade of crimson. Pushing myself up, I grip his thighs and take him with me. He’s careful where he positions his leg on my side next to my wound, anxious he’s going to hurt it.

That’s right, you’re still strong enough.

His body melts into mine as he relaxes and lays his head on my shoulder. Dax wasn’t a fan of me carrying him around at first. It took him a while to enjoy physical touch. But as soon as his body got used to it, He craved it. And I was more than happy to give him everything he needed.

“Are you sure I can’t persuade you to stay at home one more day?” my tone pleads in a final attempt, but I’m past the point of caring about looking needy. I want him wrapped around me in my bed forever.

“Sorry, soldier. You could always come with me if you have nothing else to do? The guitar lesson is later today anyway, you’ll be coming to the shop then, won’t you?” He imitates the worst fake smile and pet lip I have ever seen. Yet, it’s hard not to find him looking cute while doing so. “Yeah, I’ll be at the shop for four. Gotta do some things first. Need to go see Idah. She hasn’t said a word the last few days, which is a little bit out of the ordinary for her. Want to make sure she’s okay.” I follow by kissing his nose and putting him down so he can get ready to leave.

“You’ve always been the best at that, sunshine.” His face continues to blush as he speaks. He’s becoming more like himself the last few days. My chest fills with warmth finally seeing his smile again. The image has haunted my mind for so long. Not anymore.

“What, carrying you?”

“No. Helping people. Making sure they’re okay. Protecting us. Being a soldier.”

“I’m not a soldier anymore, Dax.” I turn on my heel to walk away when he takes a hold of my hand, stopping me, pulling me back.

“And what is a soldier's job?”

“To fight for my country.”

“No. To protect. That’s what you’ve done for everyone, no matter who they are. That’s what you’ve always done for me. Wearing the uniform or not, you’re still a soldier to me.” He moves closer, standing on his tiptoes to press a kiss against my cheek. “My soldier.” Kiss. “Always.”

“You better get out of this house in five minutes, or I won’t let you leave.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time.” He winks, walking to the other side of the bedroom to collect his clothes. And after five minutes, he’s out of the front door.

And I can’t wait for him to walk back through it.

I pick up my phone, text Idah twice, and get no reply. It’s unlike her, normally she replies straight away. I check in with Dax, asking if she’s at work to which he replies instantly, “no”. And I can’t help but feel guilty. She’s been there for me since I moved here, we’ve been there for each other. It’s important to me to make sure she’s okay. Grabbing the car keys on the table by the front door, and picking up two bunches of flowers I made earlier, I decide to drive round to the grave to check if she’s speaking to Lottie.

Please be speaking to Lottie.

With the car park being empty, which isn’t out of the ordinary for this time of day with most people being at work, I’m able to park easily, making my way through the front gate in minutes. Walking down the footpath where Lottie’s grave sits to the right, I notice Idah isn’t here. No fresh flowers have been placed here today either, so I pop one of the bunches I have in my hands in the flower holder in front of the head stone.

“What’s she doing, Lottie?” I say out loud. “I wish you were here. I’m sorry we got to meet too late.” I’d normally stick around, but being in the garden today took so long, I don’t have much time to spare before I need to get to the store.

But there’s one more important stop I need to make before I go back to the car.

Padding my feet through the back gate, Dax’s mum’s bench comes into sight, and I’m filled with a huge amount of sadness. Sadness for not knowing her, sadness for not knowing this was here, and sadness for Dax and Tyler.

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