Page 71 of Never Too Late

As soon as I get off the phone, I get myself into gear. I’ve got a spare room to set up and I’ve got to let Dax know we have a visitor on the way.

Chapter forty

Dax

“I know you told me not to write anymore, but I can’t stop. I tried. But I couldn’t do it. So, I still write. And I’m going to keep writing. Even if you never see them. You’ve always been good at knowing things before I know. Maybe you’ll know I’m still writing, and you’ll decide you start writing back again too.”

“Where have I put my stupid phone?” I question into the quiet room, knowing no one will answer me. It’s almost 5pm, I’m normally back at home by now but I completely lost track of time spending too long piling up stock. I have checked all the shelves, all the drawers, and can’t remember where I have put it.

Dragging my feet towards the door leading to the shop floor, I push myself to check another time to make sure again I haven’t put it down without realising. As I turn the handle, I hear my phone ringing from the exact shelf I looked at two moments ago. Which I could have sworn was empty.

I am losing the plot.

Noticing the words, ‘Sunshine’ light up the screen with a photo of Jae, I answer instantly.

“Hey, pretty boy, I’ve just been on the phone to Isaac. Bee gave birth, a beautiful baby girl. She’s amazing. Anyway, the guys are back, and Noah is going to come up for a few days, is that okay? You’re still more than welcome to stay obviously. I just wanted to make sure you were aware before he got here.”

I pause, staring at the wall in front of me.

Noah is coming?

The last time Jae saw Noah was when he needed to be saved, does Jae need to be saved again?

Did I do something wrong?

Paranoia washes over me.

“Dax?”

“Yeah. I’m here. That’s fine, I’ll stay at my house.”

“Oh, okay. Are you sure? Please don’t feel like you have to do that. You’re welcome to stay over still you know, I don’t want you to feel like you can’t.”

“No, it’s fine.” It’s not.

“I need to go back home for a bit anyway I think, I have some stuff I need to do.” I’m scared that the nightmares are going to start again.

I’ve just gotten used to sleeping again.

“I’m just getting ready to head out, I’ll ring you when I’m home.” I wish I wasn’t going home, and I was coming back to your house. My sheets won’t smell the same. My bed won’t feel the same.

It won’t be the same.

“Oh, okay,” Jae’s voice echoes. I can hear the sadness in his tone.

“I gotta go, sunshine, a customer just walked in.” Lie. “I’ll call you later, yeah? Miss you.” And I hang up before he can say anything else.

Already my mind feels like it’s running a marathon I will never be able to finish.

I just got used to waking up in his bed again, I just got used to the smell of him, the feeling of his skin against mine.

Instantly the back room I’m working in feels like it’s closing in on me, suffocating me. I quickly clear everything away making sure everything is back in its correct place before going onto the floor to cash up the till for the evening.

Walking towards my bike, my body feels like dead weight. I decided to hold off and stay in the shop another hour, waiting for roads to clear, but I find myself hesitating more than normal going back home.

A place that doesn't feel right anymore.

It took me so long to figure out but home has never been a place.

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