Page 62 of Never Too Late

Chapter thirty-six

Dax

“It’s me and you against the world, remember. No one else, just us.”

I wish I hadn’t fallen asleep for so long in the car because now, I feel like I’ve been hit by a train. Napping during the day is something I’ve avoided for as long as I can remember. The sun is too bright, I can still feel it on me even with my eyes closed. But Jae always knows what I need before I know myself. So, I appreciate him allowing me to sleep. Maybe that’s why I fell into so much darkness when he left.

Where I’m the darkness, he’s everything light.

I was excited to be reunited with my bike again, I haven’t had time to ride recently, and I’ve felt as though I was losing a part of myself. When Jae mentioned he’d picked it up to bring back to the house with him, at first, a part of me didn’t believe him and thought it was a joke. But I know he wouldn’t lie to me. It just seemed too good to be true. And as I watched him carefully take it down from the back of the car, my body filled with so much excitement. Happy to be reunited with the other thing that helped me get through the difficult times for so long when he wasn’t here. When I’d messed things up.

We still haven’t spoken about what happened when I decided to cut off writing to him. I don’t know if that’s a blessing or a curse, but I often find myself waiting for the topic to be brought up. And it’s that conversation I’m afraid of the most.

How do I explain something I can’t even explain to myself?

How do I explain, at times I feel it’s easier to push people away instead of letting them in?

And how do I explain I’m scared I might do it again?

Taking a deep breath, I stop and focus on the flowers outside the living room window. This room has quickly become my favourite in the house. Even after spending a day looking at hundreds of different types of flowers, I can never get enough of the view of Jae’s sunflowers from the window. The colour of the petals reflecting through, dancing on the white walls.

Home.

“I’m going to take a shower; do you want to join me?” I hear Jae’s voice from behind.

I shake my head at the question, still feeling tired. “I’m just going to lay down.”

He walks towards me, and presses a kiss to the tip of my nose. My heart flutters, feeling his body pressed against mine.

He turns to walk away, heading towards the door, and I catch him off guard with my feathery voice. “Thank you for today. It meant everything to me.”

He stops in his tracks. Taking a few seconds before he turns to face me once more.

He approaches me with a soft smile on his face, his voice not much louder than a whisper as he says, “You mean everything to me, Dax. I’ll be as quick as I can. Pinky promise.” Before turning again, and walking out the door.

I think my heart just left my chest.

I feel so lucky to have someone who understands and knows what’s most important to me without having to say a word or explain. He never judges me; he’s always calm with me. He’s everything.

Yet I hurt him.

And I’m scared I’m going to do it again.

True to his word, he walks back into the room twenty minutes later, wearing only a pair of grey sweatpants. The wound on his side is healing, I still have to remind him at times to take it easy, but other than that, there’s no complaints from him. He still wraps it when he’s outside or in the shower, scared he’ll do anything to reverse the recovery. But even with the white patch across his side, he looks like a work of art. “Everything okay? You’re staring.”

I don’t respond as I immerse myself in the appearance of him. Droplets of water cascade down the plains of his rich umber muscles, looking smooth, shiny, and downright sinful after being in the shower. My mouth waters at the thought of tracing a path down his toned stomach with my tongue, lapping up every droplet I can find. The look he’s giving me right now suggests he wouldn’t mind if I did, either. His eyes are burning with lust as they drift down to the obvious bulge in my pants.

I need him.

The connection between us is similar to a magnetic pull, everything around us disappears, apart from the string that attaches the two of us together.

If I don't have him, it feels like I might die.

He stands there, licking his full lips that I want to take in between my teeth and bite into as he takes in the sight of me. I’ve always been smaller than Jae, my body isn’t as built, but he’s adored me anyway. He makes me feel loved, he makes me feel special, he makes me feel wanted.

He makes me feel normal.

He slowly walks his way over to me, not taking his eyes from mine. My body feels hot knowing he’s watching every movement, as he crouches down in front of me, bringing his hand to the side of my face. “What are you thinking in that head of yours?”

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