Page 55 of Never Too Late

I’ve missed him so fucking much.

I pull myself back, hearing another moan come from his mouth from the loss of contact.

“You’ve got to stop running from me, baby, you’re scaring me, not hurting me.”

“I’m sorry,” he replies instantly.

“Don’t apologise, please.”

I move my arms to his waist and go to stand, pulling him up with me bringing the jacket around him tighter, making sure it keeps all the warmth inside. His eyes quickly fixate on the bench behind us, remaining focused.

It’s dark outside with not much light around apart from the stars in the sky. Taking my phone from my pocket, I shine it onto the bench, trying to see what he’s staring at, turning up the brightness as far as my phone will go until I recognise the name shining back at me.

And that’s when I notice the same plaque that’s on the wall in the record shop.

His mum’s bench.

I remember.

No longer feeling regret or anger, guilt washes over me instead, hitting me similar to an impact from a tidal wave. The number of times I’ve been to the grave with Idah to take flowers to Lottie and I didn’t realise this was here. The number of times I could have paid my respects to the mother of the man in my arms.

I press a kiss to the side of his neck.

I always knew how much he loved this space, so it doesn’t surprise me he managed to get a bench dedicated to her, and it explains why he ran straight here.

“Are you ready to go home or would you like to stay a little while longer?”

With no response, I notice his head tilted up, looking at the sky above. He’s always loved the stars, similar to flowers, they brought a calmness to him. I nuzzle my head into his shoulders, bringing him closer to me, my body is starting to feel the cold now so I hold onto him tightly to save any warmth I can.

“But you’re missing the stars,” his deep voice whispers into my ear.

“I missed one thing. And that was holding onto you.” I bring his body closer to mine, with no space in between.

And after five more minutes pass, the sound of the waves gets louder, more violent, the air around us gets colder and he pulls himself away from my body, out of my arms, and takes hold of my hand.

“I think I’m ready to go home now, sunshine.”

Chapter thirty-two

Jae

“I live in constant fear that I’m going to ruin what we have and lose you. I can’t lose you, if I do, I lose myself.”

It’s been three days since I found Dax at the cliffs.

Three days since I kissed him again for the first time.

Three days of being inseparable.

And three days of confirming just how much I am still head over heels for him.

“You could just stay in bed, Tyler said you were okay to take a few more days off,” I say as I move my lips from his shoulder to his neck. “You don’t have to go in, you can stay here.” I continue the line across and up towards his chin. Dax reacts with a soft moan, pulling me closer to him, gently pressing his hand underneath my chin to move my mouth up to meet his. “We’ve stayed in bed long enough; I can’t leave him on his own in the shop forever. He never gets any time off anyway, maybe it’s time I give him a few days off.” I frown at the rejection, but he’s right. Tyler told him to take a few days off, which he has. And he’s right, he needs to go back to help his brother.

Carefully wrapping his leg around my waist, Dax manages to flip me over so he’s now the one on top.

The person in me is proud he was able to do that, whereas the soldier in me is disappointed someone smaller than me was able to overcome me.

A small part of me deep down can’t help but feel like I’ve failed as a soldier.

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