Page 37 of Never Too Late

“Yeah, D?” He raises his eyebrows, showcasing a glimmer of hope.

“What the fuck do I do now?”

“You go get your spark back.”

Chapter twenty

Jae

"I watched the night sky tonight wondering how long it'll be before we find each other again, as stars."

Sitting nervously, I adjust myself on the floor beside the flowerbed. After attempting to force myself to walk towards the cliffside, and miserably failing, I retreated back to sit and speak to Lottie. I tried. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bring myself to go past the gate, let alone the edge. Not without him. Thankfully, she was here to save me from everything trailing through my mind right now. Idah has shared multiple stories about the two of them; how they met, what Lottie’s favourite things were, what she enjoyed doing, and I feel as close to her as I do Idah. I understand that may sound strange to some, but she’s become a comfort to me which I couldn’t be more grateful for in this time.

Especially now that I have to come to terms with the one thing I wished for the most.

Because Dax is here.

In the same town, the same place.

This isn’t a dream. This is real.

And I have no idea what to do about it.

The picture of him and his brother inside their store not only healed my heart, but broke it all over again. While the person in the photo looked like the guy I fell in love with, am still in love with, there was a sadness in his eyes that only those close enough to him would recognise. And that made the hole I’ve been trying to heal bigger. The words Tyler spoke of how Dax is now and how he’s worried about him, have only left me feeling more anxious.

I have spent every day wondering why Dax decided to end things the way he did, with a simple letter. I’ve spent months wondering if he had met someone else, someone better for him than me.

The same number of days wishing he had.

Not everyone wants to be in a relationship with someone in the army, someone who could get called away for months at a time with no objection. But things are different now. I don’t have to leave. I won’t leave this time.

I don't have to.

I won’t leave him again.

“Hey, it’s not like you to be here before me. We’re not meant to be meeting up for another hour yet, is everything okay? Something wrong with the grave?” Idah panics while rushing over to sit beside me.

“Hey, no. Nothing’s wrong, with the grave I mean. Everything’s fine. I just came earlier because I was already out and didn’t feel like going home. I just wanted to come sit and talk. You know, Lottie is a good listener.” I link my arm around hers as she brings herself closer to my side, laying her head on my shoulder.

“She always was,” Idah replies while wrapping her arms around my body. “I’m glad she’s able to help you too.”

With my mind focusing on multiple things at once, I don’t hear her when she starts to speak to me again. It isn’t until she taps me numerous times that she has my full attention.

“So, why are you here anyway?”

I sigh. “I went to see Tyler. I wanted to say thanks.”

“You did? How did that go? Did you manage to meet his brother Dax?”

“I already know Dax.”

“Huh?” she asks, confused by my admission.

And so, I confess everything. Starting from the beginning of how we met, where we met, how our relationship started, how I already knew this place, the graveyard included, what happened during our relationship, and how our relationship ended.

Based on her facial expressions and body language, it’s obvious she doesn’t know how to react to the information I’ve told her. At least I’m not alone in that. And without saying a word, Idah moves her head from my shoulder, takes hold of my body, and pulls me closer to her so I’m leaning into her for support. We don’t say a word to one another, but the comfort is there and so is the support.

And here, in her arms, is the safest I’ve felt in a long time.

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