Page 103 of Never Too Late

“Yeah, pretty boy, they’re yours.”

He wipes the remaining tears with the back of his hand, moving to the tin, slowly opening the lid.

His face softens and I notice the difficulty he’s holding back not to cry again.

He slowly takes the letters out, carefully selecting one at a time, feeling the paper between his fingers.

“Do you want me to leave you while you read them?”

“No. Can you hold me while I do? Please.”

“Anything for you.”

I move over, turning myself to face him, allowing him to turn around and lean back into my chest.

Smiling at the words I’ve just said, because it's the truth. I would do anything for him.

Chapter fifty-four

Dax

“I continued to write because it’s the only thing I knew how to do to deal with the idea of losing you. Writing to you meant a part of you was still there. No matter if you wanted to be or not.”

“It’s starting to get cold. I made you some coffee to help warm you up,” Jae announces as he presses a kiss to my nose, dropping to sit back down next to me on the bench. “Do you want me to read for you?” He brushes my hair from my face.

With my head still buried in the paper, I quickly reply, “No, it’s okay. I’m almost done. Thank you, though.”

He smiles, nodding his head slowly as he opens his arms again, bringing me back into his chest as he pulls a blanket over our knees and reads the letters with me. He hasn’t left my side, apart from getting numerous things such as drinks and snacks. But each time, he’s made sure to come straight back outside, not wanting to leave me alone.

We have been outside for almost three hours now – the sun is due to set soon. The sky’s still blue, mixed with hues of yellow and red light scattered around. The air is now turning colder, but that doesn’t faze me. If anything, it’s calming me.

The last time I received something as precious as these letters was my Walkman from Mum. Part of me is already scared that when I stop reading, they will disappear. I carefully immerse myself in the pages that are filled with feelings and confessions, words of love disguised as letters. I know this, because mine were the exact same. As I read his written words, I can hear his voice in my mind. It’s as though he’s been speaking through them to me all along while I’m cuddling into his chest, listening to the beating of his heart.

Coming to the final page, my mind starts to panic. I almost want to beg for this not to be the end. I think he notices that too when I can feel his eyes on me as I frantically search the box for more.

Would he write to me more if I asked?

“I don’t want them to end,” I whisper to the wind, and I feel Jae’s arms come around me tighter.

“Are you okay?” he quietly asks into my ear.

An overwhelming feeling washes over me. It’s not because I’m sad. I led myself to believe he was better off without me. I was better off without him. When all along, we’ve been the complete opposite. Without the pair of us knowing, our actions have told us we’re nothing but right for each other.

I come to the last line. Carefully taking in each word, one by one.

Please don’t end.

I knew I loved Jae. I’ve known from the first moment I laid eyes on him; but reading his feelings has formed something else, something deeper.

I’ve spent so long in denial. Missing this. Missing him. When all I needed was to open my eyes.

I carefully fold the paper the same way I opened it, placing it on top of the rest of the pile in the order they were originally, before slowly closing the lid of the box, and take a deep breath. I never realised something so small could impact me so much.

Taking it in both hands, I pick up the small box to take a closer look at it. It has Jae’s name and his identification number, similar to what is on his dog tags. I bring it to my chest, pressing it against my heart, finally exhaling. Gently pulling it away, I hold it out slowly, giving him back the box when he instantly opens his mouth. “Keep it, it’s yours.”

“I can’t do that, it’s yours.”

“And I’m yours. You need what’s in that box more than I do. I saw the way your eyes lit up reading those letters, I felt how much you relaxed in my arms. Keep them so you can read them whenever you want too. Just please remember, what’s written on those letters came from my heart. I meant every word.”

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