Page 16 of Freshman

Alfie turned in the direction of the counter. Tia’s boss waited, lip wobbling like he was terrified to interrupt them. He was a big man but always struck Alfie as too nervous, too tentative for his size. His brown eyes were glued to Tia, and he stroked a hand over his head to flatten his frizzy blond hair.

Tia plastered a smile on her face. “What’s wrong, Paul?”

“You…you had your break earlier.”

“Did I?” She chuckled before slapping her hand to her mouth. “I did, didn’t I?”

“Yes.”

Alfie scrunched his face and gritted his teeth, expecting Tia’s boss to go crazy, but he just wagged his finger and tutted like Tia was a naughty child.

“You forgot yesterday too,” Paul said, shaking his head.

“I’d forget my own head if it wasn’t attached to my neck,” Tia said, then she walked back to the counter, swaying her hips as she went.

Alfie raised an eyebrow at her once she was behind the counter and Paul had retreated to the back. “What the fuck was that?”

Tia grinned. “The perks of having a boss who fancies you.”

“If only…” Alfie mumbled.

He might’ve progressed to day shift had Ryan been interested, but instead the only interest came from a triple murderer who purred suggestively into his cell door.

Alfie finished the rest of his coffee, then waved to Tia from the window. He strolled along the pavement, tracking the people that passed. He closed his eyes briefly at the touch of sun on his skin. It didn’t last. The clouds moved in and hid it from view.

Despite working in a prison at such a young age, Alfie still fit the eighteen-year-old, male stereotype. Tia invited him on nights out, which usually ended with him trading saliva and hands with some guy in a bar. The hook-ups never went anywhere. On rare occasions, it ended with someone in Alfie’s bed or him in someone else’s, but he set clear boundaries.

It was a one-night thing that would never lead to more. The encounters were brief, like a valve being released every once in a while to keep Alfie from going crazy.

The thought of trusting someone with more than one night left a bitter taste in his mouth.

If you never let anyone in, they couldn’t let you down.

Tia hated the motto, but Alfie stuck to it.

He’d been let down before.

Not in a romantic way, but it had put him off love.

When he was a kid waiting in the foster home, he readied himself to be loved and cherished, he craved it, but it never came. They were told to behave, be polite, engaging, and they’d been picked, they’d be taken home.

Alfie did all those things, but he was never chosen, and for years hope lingered in his heart that the right person was coming, he just had to have faith, but when hope faded, sadness grew.

The care system made good kids sad, and bad kids worse.

Alfie promised himself never to trust someone with his heart, never to hope someone would one day hold it in their hands and take care of it, because those were the dreams of a child. One who was naïve and hadn’t yet felt the bitter sting of rejection.

His heart had been broken long ago by his parents not wanting him and reinforced by no one else wanting him either, so the one-night stands of fun were ideal, and failing that, he had his hand.

Except, he’d not touched himself since he’d first spoken to Nate that night, knowing his mind would wander there when it shouldn’t.

Nate was off-limits, both physically and mentally, and he had to make sure it stayed that way.

5

Alfie tapped the side of his fist to Queenie’s door, and he got an immediate response. Alfie no longer blinked in surprise at the voice. In fact, he looked forward to the softer-spoken tone.

“Thanks, Queenie.”

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