Page 112 of Freshman

“I couldn’t fix you. You would’ve died if I took you with me.”

“Your escape plan, it almost killed me.”

“You were never supposed to be in that car.”

“You abandoned me.” Alfie wiped the tears on his cheeks with his cuffed hands. “I got arrested. They sentenced me to three years.”

Nate opened his eyes. They’d lost their intensity with the red more dominant on his chin and T-shirt, but they sought a connection with Alfie and he found he couldn’t look away. “That wasn’t supposed to be how it went.”

Alfie shook his head and blinked back the sting in his eyes. “Then tell me.”

“I would’ve escaped, then sent you a message. Given you the option of joining me, but if you decided to stay at Larkwood, carry on working as a prison officer, I would’ve let you.”

“No.”

“What do you mean no?”

“I wanted you to want me.”

“I did. I do.”

“I didn’t want the option of not being with you.”

Nate shook his head. “It would’ve been selfish of me to have assumed you—”

“Then I want you to be selfish. You…you took me, and then you dumped me.”

“You weren’t supposed to get hurt, and I couldn’t leave you in the car like that. I couldn’t see you like that. I couldn’t ignore you calling out for me, so I took you.”

Alfie’s lip quivered, and he sank his teeth in to stop it. Nate winced on his behalf and took a step forward, but Alfie waved him back.

“You. Dumped. Me.”

Nate scrunched his face. “Only a doctor could help you, not me, and I thought after a few weeks, a month maybe, I’d be able to get a message to you, but then you were arrested, and I knew they’d be monitoring your house. I didn’t leave anything in my cell that linked us together. I swear it.”

Alfie dropped his gaze and nodded at the ground. “I kept the sketch, and the post-its, and voicemails.”

“You shouldn’t have done that—”

“I know that! But they made me feel cared for, and I didn’t want to destroy them, permanently delete them from my life, and even if I had been smarter and got rid of it all, they still captured me going into your cell on CCTV.”

“What?”

“They’d installed new cameras. And now, because of them, I’ve lost everything. My home, my possessions, my job, my best friend. My future is gone.”

“It isn’t.

“It is Nate.” He held up his cuffed hands. “I’m a prisoner.”

“I said I’d take care of you, and I meant it. Leaving you like that on the road, injured, and reaching for me, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I hated myself, and I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to get you back.”

“You used your nana’s death to escape?”

Nate nodded. “I did. So we’d have a future, so I’d be able to look after you, and you could have the luxury of dreaming. I let you down.” He took a step nearer. “But I won’t again.”

“How could this ever work?” Alfie asked, glancing around. “We’ll both be wanted criminals.”

Nate smiled. “It’ll work.” He gestured to the man and woman standing near the barn. “They’re going to get us out of here. Get us abroad.”

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