Page 93 of Call Me Sir

“I know.”

The grin is proud and childish. It’s like a glimpse of him from when he was younger. I try to picture a twenty something year old Sal trying to make it back ten years ago. How hard was it back then to be gay?

Thirty Two

Sal

“Being out to other people wasn’t on my to do list,” I find myself saying.

What was? I suppose I never had an end goal. I never pictured my future with anyone in the long haul. Not to mention keeping my personal and professional life has always been strict.

Until now. Until Cole.

“My dad seemed to change his mind overnight.”

“It wasn’t overnight.”

Cole’s words make my bristle. He doesn’t shrink back. Instead, he gently places a hand on my tense arm.

“It’s been ten years. Maybe he realized his stupid viewpoint was wrong and not worth losing his son over.”

The words try to sink in. Truthfully I want to push them away and remain stewing in my anger for my father. Except that he’s making a very valid point.

“If he can learn to grow and accept you, why can’t you?” He retracts his arm and his words tickle a strange place in my ears.

I have to keep my mouth clamped shut so my jaw doesn’t hit the floor.

“I did accept that I’m gay.” I hate how defensive I sound.

Folding his arms, he leans back into the doorframe, waiting for me to say more.

“Obviously you disagree?”

Cole lifts his eyebrows and I know he’s about to tear into me.

“You’re afraid to be seen as gay.”

I bite the inside of my cheek.

Hearing it out loud hurts. I don’t say anything.

“I’m not trying to argue with you more,” Cole says, glancing at the time on his phone.

None of this is what I wanted to happen on his lunch break. Afraid we’ll spend the rest of our break at odds, I lean back in my seat and prepare to say more. That’s always been my problem, not opening up enough.

“My fear of being out is what ended my previous relationships. I need to get over it.”

Cole inches closer and grabs one of my hands. “And it won’t be overnight.”

The smile growing on his face graces me with comfort.

“I’ll do anything I can to help. And I’m sorry if I’ve made it worse.”

I shake my head profusely. “I’ve been hiding long enough.”

Our fingers entwine and I gently tug him into the car.

Pushing my seat all the way back and he’s straddling me, I close the door and pull his chest closer to mine.

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