Page 91 of Call Me Sir

The thought is laughable how little I share with others. Does this stem from being gay?

Right away my heart wants to object. But maybe there’s truth to it. At least because of my dad.

“Iced vanilla cappuccino!”

“Thanks,” I say, grabbing the iced cup.

This is wrong. Immediately my brain orders me to go back and order my usual. Instead, I sip the light brown liquid and love it.

Hm, I guess there’s something to trying something new.

An idea flickers to mind.

Finding a more private spot in the shop, I sit in an oversized chair tucked away by one of the windows. Mentally preparing myself, I get ready to do something I vowed to never do under any circumstances.

I take a photo of my coffee in hand.

Impressed with the veins in my hands, I try another angle. Then I send it to Cole.

Me: Photo attachment

Me: Tried something new thanks to you

Next, I do something even more of a sin than the first picture. I take a…selfie. Me and the drink.

I smile stiffly for the first seven photos. Finally, on the eighth try, I’ve relaxed some and can send it.

Me: Photo attachment

The way my heart is racing I’d think I was messaging HR again. I can’t sit here and wait for an answer. I sip my drink and head back toward the office.

Like a teenager I check my phone every few seconds the notification gives me life.

Cole: Cutie xx

Relief causes my shoulders to sag like I’ve dropped an anvil from my arms.

Me: Miss you lots xx

Cole: I miss you too

Tears prick my eyes.

Cole: I miss this too

Cole: Video attachment

Cole: PS Don’t open without headphones on

Huh? What has he sent me?

In the parking lot, I leave the hot pavement to sit in my hot car. Turning it on for a brief moment, I let the air conditioning envelop me before turning it down and watching the video he sent me.

It’s a video of him jerking himself off! But where is he?

Then, I hear the sound of a door opening. The camera tumbles and once it’s in view… It’s from the day I found him in the bathroom.

The video is a little blurry but I know exactly what’s happening from memory.

---