Page 134 of Call Me Sir

Clearing his throat, he holds his hand up and I take it, running my thumb over his hand.

“I know what.”

Gratitude swells in my chest. I’m at a loss for words, thankfully he’s not.

“Tell me.”

“I want to have fun together, more dates. Maybe go on a trip, I haven’t traveled much. There’s some restaurants I’m dying to try.”

I remain silent, hoping he’ll keep going and continue to paint a beautiful mental picture of all the things we can do together, writing down a mental list.

“I want to go hiking with Kahlid and maybe go to a rave with Rumi. She was talking about that the other day. Since you and I hit it off, I started talking to people at work more and it’s crazy how much I missed… I don’t know where I was but now I’m actually present.”

My gaze drifts along the ceiling as he speaks his heart.

“After the gala I feel like I have more figuring out to do for myself, but I’m in a good place.”

Burrowing into my chest he pulls my attention to him and he’s covering his face.

“That was so fucking cheesy.”

“Hey, no it wasn’t!” I say soothingly.

I need to say something, to be vulnerable as he has been with me.

“I… I’ve struggled to picture my future.” There’s a weird lump in my throat.

“With me?”

Panic laces through my heart.

“No!”

How do I explain this? I have to get it out quick, his stare feels worried.

The words will come out but I have to keep my gaze pinned out the window, as if the city will help release the words.

“Being gay and rejected for it hurt me, which led to me hurting my boyfriends in the past. Sure, I loved them.”

“What were their names?”

“Andy and Gabe.”

He quiets down. How have I not said their names to him before?

“I guess I’m learning how to do it right, and I hope you can continue to be patient with me.”

I didn’t expect to be making a request.

“Of course,” he says gently, it’s almost a whisper.

I try to swallow that lump still creeping up my throat and making my eyes itch.

“I want to keep going on dates around the city. I want to show you off, and give you everything you deserve.”

I want to leave all my things at your place, I think but keep that thought to myself. I offer something a little less daunting. “I want to hang that picture up in your living room for you so you see it and think of us.”

“I’d like that a lot.”

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