Page 78 of Call Me Sir

Where I went to school. ‘Bayfront High School.’ When I realized I was gay.

The silence from my father speaks volumes, as he likely wonders the same questions, yet has no right to ask. Does it bother him?

What takes me by surprise, is the way that Cole comes alive when asked a lot of the same questions.

“I didn’t always know I was gay,” he starts, fiddling with the straw from the half finished smoothie. “Honestly, I thought I was straight for the longest time. I figured I just hadn’t met the right girl. It wasn’t until I left high school and went into college and I met this guy who changed everything.”

A flare goes off in my chest. Jealousy.

“He wasn’t out to anyone, but I didn’t care because I didn’t know I was gay at the time. We hooked up throughout the entire time of my freshman year. It was incredible. Until he decided to end things because he couldn’t handle the thought of people knowing the truth about him.”

Looking at him sitting there talking about his life with my childhood home as his backdrop is uncanny.

“I’m sorry,” Jeff says, one hand to his chest, the other wiping at his right eye.

“It’s okay. I learned so much about myself during that time.

“That’s beautiful,” my father says.

His sentiment is poison in the well.

Cole shrugs as something rubs against my foot. “That’s life, yeah?”

Glancing beneath the table, he’s playing footsy with me.

The touch sends an electric current through my body, specifically to my heart.

The skater shoes he’s wearing do not go well with his outfit. I want to be mad and dismiss the gentle tug this messy brown haired guy has on me, but it’s hard when he smiles at me.

“Thank you both for having us,” I say, standing abruptly.

My father doesn’t seem surprised at all.

Jeff is startled in how he scrambles to stand and offers to bring us to the door.

“Babe, why don’t you show Cole to the restroom?”

I can’t help but eye my father suspiciously but I don’t argue.

“Sure,” Jeff says without a second thought and readily takes Cole up the patio steps.

“You’re quiet.”

It’s not a question.

“Yeah.”

Questions creep in as I watch him sit up from his relaxed, slouched position. Is this relationship with Jeff simply a publicity stunt as I initially thought?

“I know work relationships can seem unethical, but there’s a right way to go about things.”

Oh. I didn’t expect this conversation to be about my current standing with Cole. Is there some kind of implication with the way he’s saying this? About how he and Jeff met?

The chair scratches the ground in a painful screech.

“I can tell he really cares for you. And it seems like he deserves someone who will love him right.”

Walking over to me, he grips my shoulder. “I know I owe you an apology, and I’m truly sorry. It’s not an overnight fix, but I’ll keep doing what I can to make it up to you, Sal.”

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