Page 52 of Jonathon, After All

She cut her eyes at him. “Damn you, Leo von Hessen. I wasn’t counting on you being a good and honorable man. Think of all we could have accomplished together.”

He waved her off. “You don’t need me, Petra, and you deserve someone who will treat you like a princess in all the ways that truly matter,” he said, making her gag and point at the door.

“Get out before I fall in love with you.”

In hindsight, Sabine didn’t seem all that sad to see the last of Petra when he returned to his suite and told her that it was over.

“She was rather cold. I didn’t want to say anything, but I thought you could do much better,” she had said and shrugged.

Leo hissed sheepishly. “She reminded me of you at times, actually. It was a little strange and I felt guilty when I kissed her, like I was kissing my sister,” he had confided.

“That’s ridiculous, dearest!” Sabine protested, rushing to him and helping with his bow tie. “I certainly don’t look at you like a brother,” she added softly, raising a hopeful brow.

He frowned, taking a moment to pick his next words wisely. “I’m not sure what you’re suggesting, but I would never jeopardize our friendship and all the work we’ve done.”

She shushed him, smiling as she tugged his tie free and loosened his collar. “You couldn’t. There’s only one thing that matters to me: your happiness. If you believe I can help you achieve that best as just your friend and advisor, so be it. But if you should ever wish for more, or for just a little…more, I’m here for you, Leo. I have always been here for you.”

“Just a friend and advisor,” he stated without hesitating, giving her a hard look. Leo wagged a finger at her as he walked backwards to his room. “I hope you didn’t give Jonathon any reason to believe we had an understanding.”

The color drained from her face before her cheeks turned pink. “No! It never came up between us, I swear, dearest!”

“Good.” He turned, dismissing her. “You don’t want to know how I’d react, if it turned out that you were somehow behind all of this,” he said loudly without looking back.

“I couldn’t—” She started to follow but he held up a hand, signaling that he was done. “Leo… It’s all been for you. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to protect you and keep you happy,” she had called after him.

“Goodnight, Sabine.”

He shouldn’t have ended it there. Leo should have asked Sabine what she had done to protect him. Instead, he had wasted years, blaming himself for the wrong reasons and feeling helpless while the love of his life fell into despair.

“My worst crime was not listening to my gut,” he told his brothers, allowing memories of Cannes to fade and returning to the penthouse. “But I am listening now, and I know what my next move needs to be. I’m calling Max.”

Sixteen

I hope you’re happy now.

Jonathon had thought or muttered it about a thousand times throughout the years, whenever he woke up next to a stranger or under a pile of them or when he hit Share on a particularly sleazy post. He’d stare at his fading reflection in the mirror, haunted by his exploits and wallowing in shame, and Jonathon’s only comfort was that one day Leo might see the wreckage and blame himself.

But from all that Jonathon had learned from Riley via Carl and by eavesdropping on Muriel and Tilly, Leo hadn’t been happy at all. He had been under the impression that Jonathon had changed his mind and wanted nothing to do with him, so Leo had given up and moved on.

That revelation didn’t comfort Jonathon in any way or inspire forgiveness. If anything, it added to the bitterness he felt and was making it impossible for Jonathon to sleep. He stared at the constellation slowly spinning over his head as Milo slept soundly on the bottom bunk.

Leo’s unhappiness and loneliness was another act of betrayal in Jonathon’s mind. It was bad enough that Leo had allowed Sabine to manipulate him, but for it all to have been for nothing was an insult to injury.

You were supposed to be happy.

Jonathon couldn’t be mad at Leo for being unhappy, could he? Not justifiably, at least. But there Jonathon was: pissed to the depths of his soul at Leo for allowing Sabine to rob him of any happiness. It wasn’t at all surprising to learn that she had been behind their breakup. But allowing it to go on for so long and doing nothing about it? Jonathan would almost have preferred to learn that Leo was happily married with a pack of puppies or a brood of children.

At least one of them would have been happy and Jonathon’s misery wouldn’t have been utterly pointless. Looking back, Jonathon could practically pinpoint when Sabine began weaving her spell on Leo. It had begun with the roses on Jonathon’s bedside table, and had ended with a phone call to Sabine almost a month after Schönbühel.

Jonathon had sent so many emails, reminding Leo of the promises they had made and begging him to come to London or meet in Paris or Berlin. Every attempt went unanswered while Jonathon refreshed inboxes and searched his notifications for any sign of Leo. There was nothing but silence after Leo kissed him goodbye and whispered his vow.

Jonathan’s world came crashing down around him about a month after they had parted at Schönbühel. He was in London and was supposed to be preparing for school. Instead, he was in his bedroom in Muriel’s rented townhouse in Kensington, pacing angrily and listening through the endless rings. “You can’t do this, Leo. You promised you’d come back. We had a deal.”

The line picked up and Jonathon held his breath.

“Ja?” Sabine prompted impatiently, sending Jonathon’s hopes plummeting.

“Hey, Sabine, it’s me again. Is he available?”

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