Page 59 of Jonathon, After All

“Scheiße! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Leo insisted in a rush, wiping off his sleeves and holding up his hands. “It was his idea,” he added and pointed at Markus. His bodyguard looked like he wanted to commit murder but Leo offered Markus an apologetic wince. He was fighting for his life. Meanwhile, Theo and Matteo looked delighted. “I didn’t mean to upset you again,” Leo said to Jonathon.

Jonathon’s eyes widened and his nostrils flared, but he was so beautiful. Leo wouldn’t have been able to take his eyes off of Jonathon if God herself had floated onto the balcony riding a giant neon frog and offered him a ride.

“You cut your hair,” Leo said in a ragged whisper, overjoyed to see his Jonathon again. “You look so perfect.”

He rolled his eyes, but they were red and glittered with tears as Jonathon crossed his arms over his chest, defiant and still angry. “It was all for nothing and I was tired of it. Do you know how many roses I sent you, Leo? I left a trail of them all over the world: London, Tokyo, Sydney,Toronto, LA… Everywhere I went, I posted pictures of white roses hoping you would come and get me, but you never did. I grew my hair out like Rapunzel but you didn’t care.”

The pain in his voice cut through Leo as he imagined how hopeless Jonathon must have felt. Leo grew sick and bitter with himself and Sabine again for abandoning Jonathon so cruelly.

“I never knew. I’m so sorry, but I thought you changed your mind and I was doing what was best for you.”

Jonathon’s head cocked. “You couldn’t have looked just once?” he shouted and Matteo whispered “Get him!”

“I was too scared to look,” Leo admitted, scowling at Matteo for being a traitor.

He raised his hands, shrugging. “He’s gorgeous and extremely entertaining. One of us should marry him,” he said with a playful wink at Jonathon.

Leo glanced at Markus. “One more interruption out of either of them and you take these assholes outside and break something.”

“I don’t have diplomatic immunity,” Markus said. “And he’s not wrong. I’m rooting for Mr. Hawthorne now.”

“Et tu, Markus?” He looked at Jonathon, exasperated. “I would have expected this out of Theo. But Matteo is the angel. He never gives anyone any trouble, it’s usually the other two…” Leo dragged a hand down his face. He suspected that his brothers were attempting to defuse the tension, but at what cost to Leo’s sanity? He raised a brow at Jonathon, silently pleading for mercy. “Sabine told me there were other men and that you had moved on. I thought you were happy so I stayed as far away as I could.”

“That’s exactly what she told me, but I saw you, Leo. You were in Cannes with a race car driver a month later?—”

“I did that for publicity. We spent most of the time talking about the men we were secretly in love with… and horses,” Leo explained, shutting that down immediately. “Weber was threatening to tell the tabloids if we didn’t help him and Sabine said she was hearing more gossip about us. I believed you were no longer interested so I went out a few times—with men and women—so no one would think Schönbühel was significant. And I wanted to make a statement about my sexuality, in solidarity with Max and other queer Austrians. I thought I was no longer taken,” he added gently.

Jonathon’s face crumpled and his lip trembled. “There were so many other men! I wanted you to be jealous and I prayed that just one of them would be better than you so I could forget. But you ruined me, Leo.” He came around the sectional, shaking and crying. “How could I move on?” he demanded, waving his arms wildly. “I tried and I tried and I tried, but all it did was make it hurt worse. I couldn’t feel anything because they weren’t you!”

“I’m so sorry,” Leo said hoarsely, reaching for him but Jonathon’s finger shot out.

“No!” He shook his head wildly and wiped at his face. “If you touch me, I’ll break.”

Leo shushed soothingly as he edged closer. “You won’t,” he whispered. “I don’t care about the other men. They don’t matter and I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.”

“You should have been there. You promised me, Leo!” Jonathon said through watery gasps. But he didn’t yell or hold Leo off when he took another step closer and raised his hand cautiously, like he was approaching a skittish foal.

“I should have and I will spend every day of the rest of my life making it up to you. If you’ll give me a chance.”

“A chance for what?” Jonathon laughed wryly. “They’re not going to let you date me. Not now,” he said, covering his mouth to hold back a sob.

“I don’t care anymore and they can’t stop me,” Leo said and looked back at Max and his brothers sheepishly. “No offense, but I’ve done all I’ve set out to do. The lands I donated are tied to contracts and resolutions that will protect them and keep them out of corporations’ hands for the next fifty years, or more in some cases. I don’t know if it was worth it, unfortunately,” he admitted to them sadly.

Max pushed out a hard breath, nodding. “There was a reason the margraves before us were so hard and inflexible. We—you and I—aren’t built for it, it seems,” he said, clasping his hands behind his back. “Though, I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Times change and the House of Hessen can either evolve or fade. You’ve been an excellent margrave, Leo. Better than I was, and I think you could do more. The House and the Foundation will survive Mr. Hawthorne. If you still want to be Margrave. But no matter what you choose, you will both have my support.” He offered them a half bow, leaving Leo momentarily speechless.

“I… Thank you. After everything you’ve done for my family?—”

“Our family,” Max corrected him gently. “We’ve taken care of each other. You were there for me and you’ve always stood by my side. Picking you to be my replacement was the best decision I’ve ever made and it saved my life. It’s your turn to live and find your happily ever after. You’ve earned it.”

“I will.” Leo nodded, then turned back to Jonathon. “But it’s up to you, if I will continue to be Margrave,” he told him.

“No!” Jonathon gasped, his head shaking quickly. “You have to. I won’t let you give it all up for me. I just don’t think I can do it again. I’ll be a mess as soon as you leave. We won’t last a week and it’ll be worse the second time around,” he said, the squeak in his voice getting higher as he started to cry again.

Leo shushed him softly and carefully cupped his cheek and ever so gently wiped away Jonathon’s tears. “Not this time, mein Herz,” he whispered and shook his head. “Tell me what you want and I’ll do it, but I won’t give you up again. I don’t care what it takes, I want you with me—by my side—no matter what I end up doing. Until you tell me it’s over.”

There was a loud gulp as Jonathon stared back at Leo with wide, shimmering eyes. “I… I don’t know,” he confided in a weak, wavering voice. “I was already confused before and so much has changed since the gala. Everything’s changed since the gala. I need time to think.”

“Alright!” Leo nodded quickly, encouraged because Jonathon was talking to him and hadn’t pushed him away. “I can give you time,” he said, but Markus cleared his throat softly.

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