Page 34 of Bad Blood

“You don’t have the best track record.” She once again slides in a quip about my lack of favorable statistics when it comes to my sex life.

I Google more about Dr. Fields while I halfway listen to Bree and stop at the next intersection. The top links lead to rave reviews and recommendations. The third page I click on describes the cancers she treats. I scan through the paragraphs.

A humming fills my ears as I stare at the list of things to expect with some of the worst cancers imaginable—the ones Dr. Fields specializes in—and the words blur. I have a new appreciation for the urgency of getting Liam’s chemo started. But are we ready for this? My eyes glaze over the same paragraph again when Bree clears her throat, pulling me from my one-track mind.

“I’m being serious.”

“Me too.” I don’t have the energy to deal with any more of her shit.

“The last thing we need is for you to fuck this up. Liam needs the best. Don’t even think about getting involved with his doctor.”

“I won’t.” I press my finger on the screen to end the call while trying not to crush the phone.

I. Don’t. Want. To. Think. I crave the silence.

Inhale. Exhale.

Nothing but nothingness.

Shit. I came to run my thoughts away. Forget how the last few days have changed my life, and end up frustrated, confused, and insulted.

Axel drags me to the entrance of our apartment, and I gaze at the massive tower. I’m not ready to see Liam. I need to get control of myself.

What are we going to do?

Not having answers proves I’ve already failed him. And it’s only the beginning.

The apartment complex doors glide open as a couple comes out, smiles, and continues with their day as if they don’t have a care in the world. Our lives are crumbling around us, and the rest of society gets to go on with their life like nothing is happening.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

The sound of the doors opening again draws my attention, and I get a megawatt grin from Liam. I wish there were a way to bottle Liam’s optimism and sprinkle that shit on myself like confetti. The dark cloud of guilt hovering over me isn’t his fault but seeing him act like everything’s normal messes with my head.

Bane, his bulldog, wiggles his way over to us, excited about his brief escape from the apartment.

“It’s a nice day.” Liam’s exaggerated play on nonchalance doesn’t go unnoticed. He claps me on both shoulders after ruffling Axel’s ears, and the two dogs start to wrestle. “Figured Bane could use some air. We’re headed to the park so he can stretch his legs. Wanna come?”

“I’ll catch you in a little bit. I need to take care of some things, take a shower.”

“You okay? You’re looking a little pale.” He averts his gaze and walks backward toward the intersection, shielding his eyes from the sun with Bane in tow. Axel yips as they back away, pulling at the leash because he hates to miss out on anything.

“I need water.” I step toward him, watching the do not cross sign flash above his head.

See the car.

Liam grins. “You sure you don’t want to come?”

Words freeze on the tip of my tongue.

His mouth is moving, but I can’t make out what he’s saying.

Blood rushes through my ears.

He takes another step backward.

There’s screeching.

And I crumble to my knees.

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