Page 35 of Falling Like Stars

“Nah, you’re all right.”

He glances up at me, his eyes warm and intense. “I liked even more when you said that me being famous isn’t the first thing you consider when you consider me.”

I feel a warmth creep up my cheeks and try to shrug it off. “Yeah, well—”

“Do you know what I felt when I heard you say that?”

“No. What?”

“Happy.”

I glance down at my hands, the opposite wall, the floor…anywhere but him.

“Don’t look so scared,” he says. “In less than two hours, I’ll be headed to the wilds of Alaska for one of the more brutal scripts I’ve ever read.”

“What’s it about?” I ask, grateful for the change of subject.

Zach rolls onto his back, stares at the ceiling. “Guilt.”

I nearly flinch. “Can you be more specific?”

“It’s called Midnight Skies, and it’s about a guy in Arizona. He’s married, two little kids. He’s driving the kids home from something…a soccer practice. They get into a car accident and the boys don’t make it. His wife blames him. Not in so many words but it’s there. He gets a divorce, quits his job, and moves to Alaska.”

“What for?”

“To die,” Zach says. He’s not looking at me, his gaze still on the ceiling. “His plan is to—eventually—walk into the cold and let the elements have him.”

“Oh.”

“Sounds depressing, right? It’s going to be the hardest thing I’ve done yet, but I like the story. This is a project for people still stuck in it, you know?”

“No happy ending, I take it?” I ask, my voice tight.

“Ambiguous,” Zach says. “I had to become an executive producer to keep it that way.” He peels his gaze from the ceiling to look at me. “I was only half-kidding before about the film needing good people. If you change your mind…”

“I’ll think about it.” I say, and I’m surprised to hear I mean it.

“I’ll take it.” A slow, sleepy smile spreads over his lips, and he stifles a yawn. “Damn. I can’t keep my eyes open.”

“You should sleep.”

“Don’t want to. Don’t want to be done talking to you.”

I frown, stare straight ahead at my standing armoire—an antique I got at a swap meet in Pasadena.

“Why?” I ask finally.

“Why what?” Zach murmurs.

I tighten my crossed arms. “Why me?”

Why the hot tub and why take my phone number and why come to my birthday party…?

“Because, Rowan. I like who I am when I’m with you.”

Zach’s eyes are closed; he can’t see how his words affected me. How they jump into my chest and wrap around my heart. How they echo exactly how I feel when I’m with him. I’ve been starving, and being with Zach is like having a few bites of the richest meal. A taste of what life could be like, if only…

He’s completely asleep now. I want to keep talking to him, but I can’t wake him; he looks so peaceful. Why did I agree to consider Alaska? The plot of the movie sounds like my nightmare come to life, but maybe there’s something to it. Maybe there’s something in Alaska that I won’t find where I am now. I glance down at sleeping Zach. Maybe something I need.

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