Page 13 of Remember Us This Way

Abby rolls her eyes. “I’m sorry girl, but I’m not buying it,” she says. “It’s written all over you. Clearly he means something to you, but I just don’t get it. Are you upset because he hasn’t tried to say hello? Because I’ve got news for you. He’s a dude, a very popular dude. He was declared the king of the school before the semester even started. He’s not about to come find you when he has the whole world at his feet. If you wanna talk to him, then go say hi. Otherwise, maybe it’s time to admit that whatever friendship you had ended years ago and move on.”

My hands ball into fists under the table, and I stare at Abby, biting my tongue harder than I’ve ever bitten it before. I’ve been friends with her since I started at East View as a misguided, broken freshman, barely two months after Noah walked away from me. Not once during that time have I ever spoken to her about my relationship with Noah. I’ve specifically gone out of my way not to talk about it because of how much it hurts, and it’s just a stark reminder of how far away I’ve kept these girls. No one in this school really knows me. Apart from Tarni, they don’t know the struggles I went through at six years old, the wars I’ve already battled. All they know is the broken girl they met at thirteen years old, never really understanding the depth of my despair.

Abby shrinks away from my stare, and it’s clear her opinion is based solely on what Tarni has told her. Neither of them really understands how much their casual dismissal kills me.

“I agree,” Tarni says, her gaze locked on Noah and Shannan. “It’s time to move on because this boring, moody Zoey is killing my vibe. You and Noah were only friends anyway. You were little kids. It’s not like you were madly in love and on the verge of marriage and babies. Sometimes friends come and go, and that’s alright. Doesn’t mean we need to get hung up on it. Besides, you have us now, and having three besties will always be better than one gorgeous piece of man meat.”

I try to see it from her perspective and force a smile, but the piercing stare from across the room makes focusing on anything else almost impossible. I hate that he can still pull the tether between us without even meeting my eyes.

What’s Tarni’s problem, anyway? She’s always hated when I spoke of Noah in the past. She has gone to great lengths to change the topic, and for a while, I thought maybe she was jealous of the overwhelming, once-in-a-lifetime bond I shared with him, but now I’m wondering if I was wrong. Maybe it wasn’t my friendship with him she was threatened by, but more his friendship with me. Was she jealous all these years that he looked at me like an angel descending the heavens while looking at her like the trash I accidentally stepped in? Ever since we became friends at six, he’s hated her.

“You’re right. I’m being silly,” I tell her, but the words feel like venom on my tongue. I don’t want this to force a wedge between us because, despite her delivery, she’s right. It’s time to put it all behind me and try to enjoy junior year. “Noah Ryan is in the past.”

“Oh no, no, no, girl,” Tarni laughs. “He’s far from in the past. I mean, look at him. Someone who looks like that cannot be in the past. I’m sorry to break the news, Zo, but you’re gonna have to get used to seeing him around because I wasn’t kidding this morning. I need to get closer to him. I’ve been obsessing all morning! I have to sink my claws into that.”

Is she kidding me?

I gape at her, a fierce anger trying to break through the surface as I wave toward the embarrassment across the room. “Don’t know if you’ve noticed,” I mutter, trying to keep the bite out of my tone, “but your little boy toy has already been spoken for.”

Tarni scoffs. “Who? Shannan Holter? Once he fucks her—and I’m assuming that’ll be by the end of lunch—he’ll be done with her, leaving all the room for me to swoop in and take what’s mine.”

Cora laughs. “Yeah, right. She’s the captain of the cheer team, and there’s no doubt that he’ll be announced captain and quarterback of the football team. It’s like they’re fated to end up together. She’s not going to let him slip away now. Consider it a done deal. Noah and Shannan are gonna be East View’s newest it couple.”

God, I hate how right she is. I’ve never had anything to do with Shannan, and I don’t really know her on a personal level, but I’ve watched from afar, and when she wants something, she gets it. And it’s clear from the way she’s draping herself all over Noah that she wants him more than anything.

Tarni sighs, realizing Cora is right too, and as she watches them, she narrows her gaze. “What do you think Shannan has that I don’t?” Tarni murmurs, playing with her lunch rather than eating it. “Do you think it’s the whole cheerleader thing? I could cheer too. They’re having tryouts this week.”

“Oh God,” I laugh. “I’d love to see that. A baby deer stuck on ice is more coordinated than you.”

“Shut up,” she mutters, rolling her eyes, her lips pulling into a smirk before turning on Abby. “Whatever happened to that guy you were seeing over the summer?”

Abby drops her gaze immediately, her cheeks flushing bright red. “Nothing,” she says with a scoff, hurt shining in her eyes. “School started, and he decided he needs to keep up appearances and couldn’t possibly be seen with a loser like me.”

“What?” I breathe. “No, you’re lying. Tell me he didn’t really say that?”

“I wish I could,” she says, her heart on her sleeve as Cora grips her hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. “He was more than happy to sneak through my bedroom window in the middle of the night and tell me how much he liked me, but the thought of being seen in public with me—no chance in hell.”

“I swear,” Tarni mutters, her gaze shifting around the cafeteria, trying to figure out the culprit. “Just give me a name, and I’ll bust his ass open right now.”

Abby shakes her head. “You know I can’t,” she breathes. “If he knew I was telling people, he’d make my life a living hell. Despite how I feel about him, he’s an ass, and he really doesn’t care about me enough not to make me the laughingstock of the whole school.”

“So you’re just gonna go ahead and let him use you for sex instead?” Cora grunts. “Like some kind of cheap ho. Good enough to blow his load all over, but not good enough to see the woman inside? Come on, Abby. You’re better than that, and you can’t let him get away with it. Name and shame, girl. Name and shame.”

Abby cringes and shakes her head, but Tarni knows how to get exactly what she wants, always has. “Okay, don’t tell us his name. Just . . . point.”

Abby rolls her eyes, and a stupid smirk pulls across her lips as she tilts her head in the direction of the rowdy football players across the room. “He’s over there,” she says, making a point not to look that way.

We all look up, and I do what I can not to glance directly at Noah, but I simply don’t have the self-control. He’s preoccupied talking shit with the people around him and thankfully doesn’t look up. Though I know he senses my stare just as I sense his.

My gaze shifts over the other players, trying to figure out which one of these assholes could be cruel enough to have pushed Abby aside like that, but the truth is, they all could. Not a single guy on the football team is a decent person. They’re all cold and cruel, the perfect fit for Noah.

“Umm . . . is it Lucas Maxwell?” Tarni questions.

Abby shakes her head, her eyes hardening, realizing Tarni is more than prepared to make her way through the whole list until she figures it out. “Uh, gross,” she says. “I have better taste than that.”

“No, you don’t,” Cora says, slinging her arm over the back of her seat, her gaze narrowed as she studies her best friend. “It’s Liam Xander, isn’t it? You’ve always had a thing for him.”

Abby’s eyes widen, and realizing how obvious she is, she scrunches her face in regret, not yet ready to face the music as every single eye at the table flicks toward the asshole in question. Liam was supposed to be the star of the school, supposed to be the captain and the quarterback for this season, and Abby is right—he is an ass. But now with Noah here, it’ll be interesting to see how that plays out. They’re either going to despise each other and cause havoc around the school, or they’ll be tight, which could only mean even more bad news for Noah.

---