Page 90 of Remember Us This Way

Zoey steps right into my side, and I take her hand before looping my arm right over her shoulder. “We’re going to be okay,” I promise her. “We haven’t come this far and fought this hard just for something like a year of college to screw it up for us. I stand by what I said, Zo. You’re gonna be so fucking sick of me blowing up your phone, you’re gonna be begging me to leave you alone.”

A smile pulls at her lips, and it breathes life right back into me. “You and I both know that’s never going to happen,” she tells me, her smile stretching just a little bit wider before we reach my car, and with that, she drops down inside as I try to figure out how the hell I’m supposed to say goodbye to my whole damn world.

36

Zoey

Despite the summer sun blazing high in the sky, the world has never felt so dull. My heart aches in a way that I wasn’t prepared for, and with every passing second, it only gets worse.

Noah pulls up outside my house, and despite knowing he’s coming in to say goodbye to my family, we just sit here, neither of us wanting to go in. Because once we do, we’re one step closer to goodbye, and we both know just what that goodbye is going to do to me.

I’ve never ached like this, and a part of me knows just how ridiculous it is. I’ll see him every night on FaceTime and probably almost every weekend, but something feels so final about it. His life is going to change over the next year. He’s going to become the star of the Wildcats and every person in the state is going to want something from him, whether they want to be his best friend or want to see just how well he can put it down.

Women are going to throw themselves at him, and the crazy life of partying will try to lure him in, but I trust him. I trust what he said this morning, that none of it matters to him. He’s spent the past few years in a downward spiral, and I don’t think he wants to go back there anytime soon. But it still hurts.

I was a fool to allow Liam’s bullshit words to affect me, to ruin our last night together. I could have spent hours wrapped in his arms, but instead, I spent what little time we had left uncontrollably sobbing in bed. I feel like such an idiot, and what’s worse, my inability to see past my own selfish emotions means that Noah had a shit night too.

The clock ticks dangerously close to eleven, and my heart races, not wanting to face the fact that this is about to happen. But hiding from reality isn’t going to make it any less true.

Noah lets out a heavy, broken sigh before reaching over and squeezing my thigh. “Come on,” he murmurs. “If we sit out here any longer, your dad’s probably going to kick my ass.”

A small smile pulls at the corners of my lips. My dad has his hang-ups about my relationship with Noah and hasn’t quite been able to forgive him as quickly as I have. Though there’s no denying how happy Noah makes me, and that’s the only thing that keeps my father from trying to step in.

“Okay,” I say with a heavy breath as my fingers curl around the door handle and quickly open it before I change my mind.

We slowly walk up the path together, hand in hand, taking advantage of every last second, and then before I can even reach for the door, it flies open, and my little sister stands before us, looking up at Noah as though she’s just as broken.

Hazel stumbles out to the porch with her arms wide, and as she crashes into Noah, she holds him tight, pinning his arms to his side. “Do you really have to go?” she questions, sounding almost as broken as I feel. “You have to call every day. Oh, and when you get there, FaceTime me. I wanna see what a college dorm looks like, and . . . Maybe me and Zo could come for a campus tour because I’ve never been there before, and we all know Zoey isn’t going to say no to that.”

Her string of comments falls out of her mouth like word vomit. It’s like she has far too much to say that she can’t think straight or decide which comment is more important than the other.

“You know I’m only two hours down the road, right?” Noah laughs, wrestling his arms free so that he can give her a proper hug. “Plus, I’ll be home on the weekends.”

Hazel scoffs and pulls out of Noah’s arms, a skill I clearly haven’t mastered that well. “I don’t care about that,” she says. “I just wanna know all about college life. You know, I wasn’t born for this whole middle school thing. It’s kinda dull. But college, I’m going to dominate at college.”

I shake my head, and just as I go to remind her just how long it will be before she can live her dominating life, my parents move into the open doorway. Mom’s lips press into a tight line as if trying to keep herself from being emotional. “Oh Noah,” she says, walking right into him and pulling him into a tight hug. “How are you already off to college? It feels like just yesterday I was watching you and Zoey stuffing your faces full of candy and then whining about stomach aches.”

My father mutters under his breath. “They still do that.”

Noah laughs as my mom moves back to give him space. “It’s gone faster than I care to admit,” he says, sparing a quick glance at me.

“Well, that happens when you disappear for three years,” Hazel chimes in with a smirk, but damn, doesn’t she know how the reminder of that time tends to slice me wide open?

“You’re not wrong,” Noah tells her, trying to keep the mood light.

“You have everything you need?” Dad questions.

Noah glances at my father and gives him a firm nod. “Yep, all good, sir.”

“Good, then don’t be a stranger,” my father responds, a strange emotion flashing in his eyes, one I’m not really sure I can decode. “I don’t need any more reasons to want to kick your ass.”

My eyes widen in horror, and my jaw practically falls to the ground. “Dad!” I hiss. I’ve never heard him so forward with Noah before, but Noah seems to take it in stride. He doesn’t even flinch at the comment.

Mom and Dad step outside onto the porch with us, and before I know it, we’re all huddled by Noah’s Camaro as Mom and Hazel give Noah another round of hugs. But all I can do is stare at his car, contemplating if I could somehow get away with slicing all four of his tires before any of them can stop me.

I zone out trying to shield my heart from the words of my mother’s teary goodbye, and then all too soon, my family slips away to give us space.

This is it.

---