Page 88 of Remember Us This Way

35

Noah

I’ve been pacing back and forth in my room since five this morning, and as seven rolls around, I can’t wait another damn second. My car roars to life, and I’m speeding down the road toward Zoey’s place.

After leaving her place last night, I sat in my car at the park, staring out at the empty swing set where we used to share all our wild secrets. By the time I got home, I was about ready to turn back around and crawl straight into her bed, desperately needing to hold her. Instead, I stayed up and packed my bags, a job I’d put off for weeks simply because I didn’t want it to feel this real. But now, there’s only three hours left.

Three hours before I drive away, and I’ll be damned if I leave without saying goodbye. I’ve made that mistake once before, and I’ll never do it again.

I think I slept all of two hours before flying out of bed to get to my girl.

Last night sucked, but I don’t think she’s angry with me. If she heard our conversation, then she knows I told Liam to fuck off, so that’s not the problem. I think she’s angry and frustrated with the whole situation, and I can’t blame her. She hates that I’m going away, hates the thought of putting this distance between us again, and hates that she can’t just reach out and hold me.

Shit. I hate it too.

But it’s only a year. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself. No amount of repeating that is ever going to make it an easier pill to swallow.

A whole fucking year.

I don’t know how the hell I made it through three.

Two hours. Two fucking light-years.

Pulling up at her place, I cut the engine and make my way toward the side of the fence, more than ready to take the shortcut straight up to her room, but the front door opens, and Zoey’s dad appears before me, his lips pressed into a tight line.

Shit. I guess I’ll be going through the front door after all.

“I don’t know what happened between you two last night,” he says, “but she’s not here.”

I stop in the middle of the lawn, my gaze pointedly shifting to her Range Rover still parked in the driveway. “Really? She’s not here,” I question, letting him hear the doubt in my tone, more than happy to call him on his bullshit if it means making things right with Zoey.

Henry gives me a blank stare, and I inch closer to the front door. “Please. I just need to see her,” I beg. “I’m leaving today, and I—” I let out a heavy sigh, “I can’t leave without telling her goodbye.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Noah. She’s really not here,” he says. “She took off about an hour ago.”

“Fuck.” I turn and start pacing across the lawn, just as I’d done this morning, my jaw clenching. If she’s not here, that means she’s still upset, still falling apart. I should have left ages ago. I could have made things right by now and taken the pain and fear out of her heart.

It takes all of two seconds to figure out where she’s gone, especially considering that her car is still here. There’s only one place she ever goes to be alone.

Just as I turn away, Henry calls out to me. “Noah,” he says, stopping me in my tracks. I glance back, my hands balling into fists at my side. “Don’t break her heart this time.”

“That’s the last thing I’ll ever do,” I tell him. “She’s just anxious about me going to college, but I’m not going anywhere. This isn’t like last time.”

“I hope not,” he says. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had to sit up at night listening to my daughter cry herself to sleep.”

Jesus Christ. It’s like a rusty blade right through the heart.

“Like I told you last fall, Zoey and I are two halves of the same whole. She won’t be able to get rid of me, even if she tries. I’m in this for the long haul,” I tell him. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m in love with your daughter, sir. I plan on having a whole life with her. Marriage, children, a whole fucking zoo if she wants it, and I’ll be right by her side until fate comes to take me out of this world. We only have a year of distance to get through and then we’ll be done. She’s strong, she’s going to be okay, and in those times she’s not, I’ll be straight in the car, flying down the highway to get to her. This year is going to be hard and sometimes she’s going to hate me for being so far away, but we’re going to get through it.”

He just watches me through a curious gaze as though he still hasn’t worked out if he wants to forgive me for the three long years of hell I put Zoey through, and honestly, he shouldn’t. Those years caused his daughter irreparable hurt and left scars all over her heart—ones I’ve been desperately trying to heal, but scars never fully go away. Once you’ve been hurt, the memory will always linger, terrified it could happen again.

“Okay, Noah,” he finally says with a slight nod. “Go get our girl.”

I nod, breathing a sigh of relief as I storm back to my Camaro and kick it over before the door even slams behind me. I hit the gas, performing a U-turn right in front of Zoey’s house and doubling back the way I came, kicking myself for not having checked the park first.

Pulling up a few minutes later, I spy Zoey on a swing like always. When she hears the roar of my engine, she glances back over her shoulder and meets my stare through my windshield, offering me a small smile that doesn’t meet her eyes.

She’s broken, and it has everything to do with me.

---