Page 27 of Remember Us This Way

Gripping the armrests on either side of the desk chair, I hoist myself to my feet and strut across the room to check out the train wreck otherwise known as my face. As I step in front of the mirror and take one look at myself, my jaw drops, absolutely blown away. “Holy shi—”

“MOM! ZOEY SAID A BAD WORD!”

“ZOEY!” Mom reprimands from downstairs.

“Shut up, you,” I hiss at my smug sister, turning back to my reflection and really taking it in. She’s done my makeup flawlessly with the perfect smokey eye, liner, and even a few single false lashes to make my eyes pop. My gaze shifts over my face, and I’m lost for words, seeing how she’s even contoured my cheeks and jaw.

“Where the hell did you learn to do this?” I ask, positive I was about to find that a rainbow had thrown up on my face, but it’s the exact opposite. I’ve never seen myself like this.

Hazel shrugs her shoulders, and shyness creeps into her eyes. “I don’t know,” she says, refusing to meet my stare, sheepish for the first time in her life. “I guess I’ve been watching a few makeup tutorials on TikTok.”

“A few?” I scoff, turning to take in the cute twist she’s put in my hair. “There’s no way you learned how to do this just by watching a few tutorials. I can’t even do this.”

“Alright, fine,” she grumbles, throwing her hands up in resignation. “I watch them all the time and practice on Mom. I’m obsessed!”

I can’t help but laugh as I glance over myself one more time, feeling like a whole new me. I’ve always been confident in myself and felt beautiful, but I’ve never felt quite like this. I feel incredible. It even makes me consider going to Liam’s party, but that could only end in disaster.

“You need an outfit,” Hazel declares.

I roll my eyes and barely get to groan before she grabs my hand and hauls me across my room and into my walk-in closet. She starts throwing clothes at me, and I try not to get smacked in the face. “Do I really have to dress up? It’s late. What’s the point? I’m only going to get back into my pajamas afterward.”

“Don’t be silly,” Hazel says, stopping her riffling as she peers up at me, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “You’re going to Liam’s party.”

My eyes spring wide, and I gape at my little sister, momentarily lost for words. “I, umm . . . what? How do you know about Liam’s party? Wait . . . How do you even know who Liam is?”

Her smug grin widens, and I realize this has all been a ploy to get me out of the house. “Liam’s cousin’s best friend’s little brother is in my history class and couldn’t stop talking about it, and seeing as though Liam is like . . . the coolest guy in school, I figured that meant Noah was going, and if Noah is going, you have to go.”

I gape at her a little longer, trying to wrap my head around everything she just said. “First up, Noah outranks Liam on the coolness scale by a mile. Liam only tries to be cool, but he’s really not. And second, I’m not going to that party.”

“What?” Hazel shrieks. “Why not? I did your hair and makeup and everything. All you need to do is get dressed and go. Don’t even try to tell me that your friends aren’t going because I know Tarni, she wouldn’t miss a cool party.”

I shake my head, not prepared to tell her about the shit I’ve been getting from Shannan all week. She doesn’t need to bear the weight of that. “No, it’s a bad idea.”

Her face falls, her brows creasing. “I don’t understand,” she says. “Things were supposed to get better when Noah came back.”

“It’s complicated,” I tell her, desperately wishing she was right.

“What’s complicated about it? You love him, don’t you?”

“I . . . That’s not an easy question to answer.”

“Yes, it is,” she says. “What’s hard about it? You either love someone or you don’t.”

“It’s just, I think you’re asking a different kind of question. Do I love him? Yes, I’ve always loved him. Since the day I was born, I’ve loved him, but I think you’re asking if I’m in love with him, and that’s where it gets complicated.”

“You are though, right?”

I shrug my shoulders.

“I . . . I really don’t know, Hazel. He broke my heart when he put distance between us, and I don’t think it ever really healed.”

“Well,” she muses, her brows creased in thought. “Is he in love with you?”

I shake my head, desperately willing myself not to cry, hating how much this innocent conversation hurts. “I used to think he was, but then, how could he abandon me the way he did if he were? People who love each other don’t hurt each other like that.”

Her lips press into a hard line, and she looks up at me with those big, sad eyes. “But he was already hurting after Linc died. Maybe he just doesn’t remember how to love you.”

Reaching out for her, I pull my little sister into my arms and hold her tightly against me. She’s always held on to hope that Noah and I would somehow come back together, and I suppose that’s my fault for allowing her to believe that he could come back to me. But after this week from hell, I don’t think it’s possible. I’m losing hope that the old Noah is capable of emerging out of the darkness. It’s consumed him too much. He’s lost for good. “I wish it were that easy,” I tell her, hating the thought of breaking her heart. “I don’t think it’s possible to forget how to love someone, but I think he’s trying really hard to forget.”

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