Page 21 of Remember Us This Way

Mom nods and peers over my head, and I see the moment she finds the photo of me in that hospital bed. She lets out a heavy sigh, no doubt remembering the pain of that time. “That little girl in that photo,” she says, adjusting my chin until I see the photo. “She beat all odds, which is how I know you can do this now. Noah might be keeping you at arm’s length, but he’s hurting, Zoey. He’s drowning in grief, and having him here at East View with you is the best thing that could have happened to him. He might not be able to see it, but I do. He needs you, and despite how much you deny it, I think you need him too.”

With that, Mom stands and squeezes my shoulder before walking to my door. She pauses and glances back at my photo, a sadness in her eyes. “You were such a fighter, Zoey. I know it can sometimes make you uncomfortable keeping this photo out on display like this, but I love it. Yes, it’s a reminder of the hell you suffered through, but it’s also a reminder of how hard you fought. You’re a survivor, Zoey, and that should always be celebrated.”

I give Mom a tight smile, unable to help glancing back at the photo, looking at the heavy, tired bags under my eyes and my sunken cheeks. I was as sick as anybody could ever be, but there was also such a bright light in my eyes, a fire that burned within me, and that fire pushed me to fight . . . that, and Noah.

He may not know it, but he saved me all those years ago and I’ll never forget it.

But Mom is right, he’s drowning in grief, and if he was able to give me the strength I needed to survive without even realizing it, then it’s only fair I do the same for him now.

9

Noah

Another fucking day at East View High. I wonder what fresh bullshit is in store for me today. I suppose it really wasn’t that bad yesterday, apart from the whole Zoey thing. If she wasn’t here, then I might even try to give this school a chance.

What other choice do I have? It’s this or nothing, and after the hell I’ve already put my mom through over the past few years, I can’t afford to slip any further. I know I’m hurting her, but I can’t seem to stop or pull my shit together and make the hurt go away.

Every fucking day without Linc only kills me more, and I feel myself slowly dying inside. It’s like the walls are caving in, and every breath I take turns me further into stone. It’s going to kill me, and then what? I’ll really be leaving Mom and Zoey. But at least the hurt would stop, and the darkness would fade, but what kind of hell would I be leaving behind?

After locking the doors of my ZL1 Camaro, I stare up at the school, my hand slipping into my pocket and closing around my pack of cigarettes. As I make my way toward the school and go to pull the pack out of my pocket, I see Principal Daniels, his narrowed stare locked on me, waiting to see how this is going to go down. Not prepared to get my ass kicked out of here so soon, I release the cigarettes and stride up the front steps, his stare not wavering from mine for even a second.

He nods as if knowing exactly what I was going to do, and I simply walk past and push through the front door of East View High, ready to face another day.

As usual, eyes fall on me, only today is different. They seem to be whispering among themselves, looking at me as though I have some kind of fucked-up secret that was just exposed. It’s not the first time I’ve walked into a school to find everyone talking about me, and it sure as hell won’t be the last. When you have a reputation like mine, if people aren’t talking about you, then you no longer matter.

Ignoring the stares, I barge through the girls trying to get my attention, but I can’t help scanning the hall, searching for the one person I’m not supposed to want. I hate being at the same school as her, having to see her every day and remember the pain I caused her, but I can’t let her in to see just how far I’ve sunk. I’m not the same guy she once loved. It would be best if she just moved on and forgot about us.

Reaching my locker, I put in the code—0228—and as I open the door, Liam falls into the locker beside me. “Yo, dude. You didn’t tell me about your brother. Tough break, man.”

My head whips toward him, my lethal stare locked on his. “The fuck did you just say?”

Reading the rage in my tone, Liam’s hands fly up in innocence. “Woah, chill out,” he laughs. “I didn’t mean to hit a nerve. But if you’re all fucked up over me just mentioning it, you should know, the whole fucking school is talking about it, and it ain’t pretty.”

Dread fills my veins like poison, pulsing through my body and destroying everything in its path. I grab Liam, pressing into him as I slam him flat against the lockers. “What are they saying?” I growl, my hand gripping a little too tight around his throat.

“You don’t wanna know, man. Just let it go.”

“What. Are. They. Saying?”

Eyes gravitate toward us from every direction while Liam tries to shrug it off, acting as though we’re cool here.

He lets out a sigh and meets my stare. “There’s a million different versions of the story,” he finally tells me. “Some are saying your little bro got hit by a drunk driver, others are suggesting you did it.”

“FUCK!”

“Come on, man. Nobody actually believes that shit,” he says just as my fist flies right by his face and slams into the locker beside mine, leaving a dent in the metal.

Liam shoves a hand into my shoulder, demanding my attention. “Don’t fuck this up, Noah,” he spits through his teeth, not even flinching at my rage. “If anybody wants you out of this damn school, it’s me, but for some fucking reason, I don’t wanna see what happens to you if this shit doesn’t work out. So pull your shit together. They were going to find out sooner or later.”

I clench my jaw, my hands balling in and out of fists, my heart racing as the darkness threatens to consume me. And just this once, I wish it would. I try to shake it off as I step away from Liam when I see that familiar wave of chestnut hair stepping into the girls’ bathroom, and I know without a doubt that she has everything to do with this.

Without a second thought, I throw my hand out, slamming my locker closed before taking off after her. Walking into the girls’ bathroom, I find a bunch of girls fixing their makeup in the mirror and Zoey at the very end, clutching the sink with her head down, tears staining her beautiful, rosy cheeks.

The girls whip around at my entrance, their mouths dropping open, and before they can say a damn word, I point back toward the door. “GET OUT.”

They run, grab their shit, and take off as though someone just announced that Liam was offering his dick up to the most willing participant. Zoey barely glances up, but I watch the way her body tenses, knowing damn well I’m coming for her.

I stride through the bathroom, and her body stiffens as I reach her. It’s clear by the tears on her cheeks that all the talk of Linc has gotten to her, but she has no right to cry for him. She did this.

---