Page 18 of Remember Us This Way

“Good. Now get to it,” he tells me. “Grab Lucas Maxwell and run drills. He’s your wide receiver.”

I nod, and he doesn’t spare me another glance before focusing on the rest of the team. With that, I find Maxwell and get stuck into it, more than aware of Liam’s vindictive stare the whole time, probably hoping like fuck I screw this up.

8

Zoey

Trudging up the stairs to my room, I dump all my crap on my bed, then stare down at the array of books. All this shit here is homework. Already. On day one. How the hell am I supposed to keep up with this? Though something tells me it’s only going to get worse from here.

Moving through my room, I step into my closet, reach up to the top shelf, and feel around for my box of treasures. Pulling it down, I place it on my bed, and with shaky hands, I lift the lid off the box, looking down at the framed photograph of myself from another life.

Gripping the photo of me at six years old, I stare at the scared little girl who was in the middle of a torturous chemotherapy treatment. It was the worst time of my life. I’ve never felt so low, not even after Noah broke my heart, but I survived.

Having childhood cancer was never part of my family’s plan, and it definitely wasn’t a part of mine, but we fought through it, and I came out the other end stronger than ever. It was almost eighteen months of hell fighting the leukemia that riddled my body. I was so young, but I remember it so perfectly. Mom and Dad would cry when they thought I couldn’t hear them. I was so close to losing my battle, but I fought for it because I couldn’t stand the thought of never seeing my family and Noah again.

I think being so young at the time was a blessing because I didn’t fully grasp the magnitude of what I was going through. I understood that I was sick and could potentially die, but while I was terrified of dying, I didn’t understand exactly what that meant or grasp just how much of life I was going to miss out on.

I haven’t looked at this photo in a while. It usually brings back a slew of painful memories, but today I felt weak. I felt like I was losing grip on reality. But the little girl in this photo is a fighter, and if she can make it through eighteen months of battling cancer at only six years old, then I can make it through this.

Little Zoey walked so that I could run. Hell, I’m not just going to run, I’m going to fly, whether it’s with Noah or without.

Knowing I’m going to need the strength this photo brings me, I walk across my room, press a kiss to the survivor in the frame, and place it right on my desk where I’ll see it every morning. Noah Ryan won’t break me down. If I can survive leukemia, I can survive him.

Hearing my sister in her room, a smile pulls at my lips, and I make my way down the hall. Hovering in her door, I watch as she stretches across her bed, furiously scribbling in a notebook. When I knock on Hazel’s door, her head snaps up. “How was your first day of middle school?”

Hazel’s lips press into a heavy pout as she sits up on her bed. “It sucked,” she says, shoving her books away. “Everyone is so grouchy, and the teachers are all snappy and mean. Not to mention all the homework. You didn’t warn me about that.”

I laugh and move into her room, dropping down on the edge of her bed and pulling her into my side. “I didn’t want to freak you out.”

“Consider me thoroughly freaked out,” she huffs. “I mean, have you seen that cafeteria? It’s like a jungle in there.”

“It’s really not that bad,” I laugh. “Day one is supposed to be scary. Just give it a little time and you’ll find your place.”

“Easy for you to say. You had Noah with you all through middle school. No one was going to mess with you. He made sure you were okay, but I’m doing it all on my own. I don’t even have any friends yet,” she says with a heavy pout that breaks my heart. “If Linc were still here, he would have made sure I was alright, like Noah used to do for you.”

Her words are like a knife right through the chest, and I pull her in even tighter, hating how much she’s still hurting. Linc was a friend to us all, but because Noah and I were so close, it forced them together. Though he was a few years older than her, he still treated her like the little sister he never had.

I loved them together. They didn’t quite share the same kind of bond that Noah and I had, but I could have easily seen them fall in love and live so happily together one day. Losing Linc was a tragedy for us all.

“You know Linc is watching over you, right? He’s not going to let anything happen to you. You were his sweet little Hazel Girl.”

“I know,” she says with a heavy sigh, the old nickname bringing a fond smile to her face. “I miss him.”

“I know you do. Me too,” I whisper, my hand moving up and down her back, trying to comfort her. It’s bittersweet. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always adored my little sister. Hazel is one of the few loves of my life, but losing Linc made me realize just how precious life really is, and I vowed that I would be the best big sister that I could possibly be. We used to argue and fight over the smallest things, but not anymore. Linc’s passing brought us together, and I’ll forever be grateful for that. It just kills me that we had to lose him in order to become closer.

Hazel glances up at me with her big green eyes, so similar to mine. “Is it true that Noah is going to your school now?”

I cringe, unable to hide the hesitation in my tone. “Sure is.”

Her eyes sparkle with happiness. “That’s amazing. You get to see him all the time now. I bet he gave you the biggest hug ever,” she says, not understanding the dynamics of our strained relationship.

“Yeah,” I say with a forced smile. “I saw him in the student office this morning and then again at lunch. He found his place with the football team.”

“Oh, can we go to his games like we used to?”

“I’m sure he’d love to see you cheering him on at his games,” I tell her, knowing damn well he wouldn’t feel the same way about me being there. “Listen,” I say, needing to change the topic. “Did you want me to drive you to school tomorrow? I could go in with you and make sure you have someone to hang out with. I don’t want you to be all alone.”

Her eyes widen with horror, and she shoves away from me. “No way. I can’t have my big sister walking me into school. Don’t you know how not cool that is? But I mean, you could definitely drive me. Just drop me off around the corner.”

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