Page 130 of Remember Us This Way

Zoey: And a soda.

Zoey: OH! And some rock candy. I love that stuff!

Resident Asshole: That rock candy is gonna cost you!

Zoey: I’ll give you a little peek at my laptop…

Resident Asshole: You’re lying.

Zoey: Totally lying…but where does that leave us on the rock candy?

Resident Asshole: You’re lucky you’re hot!

Zoey: HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!

A wide grin stretches across my face, knowing without a doubt that Noah isn’t just showing up with everything I asked for, but with everything and more . . . so much more. He likes to spoil me, and if that means making sure I eat as much as humanly possible, he’ll buy it, even if it means putting a dent in his bank account. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do to make sure I’m getting everything I need. He’s far too good to me. I just wish there was some way I was able to repay him for everything he’s doing for me. Just the nights where he holds me is so much more than I’ve ever deserved.

How does a girl become so lucky as to be loved so fiercely by Noah Ryan?

With Noah already on his way back, I put my car into reverse and back out of the driveway before finally getting out of here. I drive down to the cemetery and park as close to Linc’s grave as possible. It’s a beautiful day, and since being sick, I haven’t come down here nearly enough.

Making my way to his gravesite, I stand over him for a minute, staring down at the words on his tombstone and then gazing over the few pictures that have been left here.

Starting to get dizzy, I drop down into the grass, crossing my legs and leaning back on my hands. There’s always been something so soothing about sitting here with Linc. Most of the time, I can picture him sitting right here beside me, chatting away as though he were never gone.

God, I miss him, but I know he’s waiting for me, beckoning me to come and join him so that he doesn’t have to be alone anymore. Hazel once told me she feared my sickness coming back was Linc’s doing, that he needed me to be with him, and a part of me is starting to wonder if she was right. And if she is, how could I be mad at him for that?

Letting out a heavy sigh, I reach forward to the plastic folder that Hazel leaves here and start going through the messages that she leaves for Linc. I know it’s wrong of me to reply to these and allow her to believe that it’s really Linc talking to her, but it’s gone on too long now. How could I possibly stop? But on the other hand, if this illness were to claim me and I was no longer able to respond to her letters, would she think that both Linc and I had abandoned her?

Shit. Perhaps Noah will respond to them for me, though he’d have to come up with an explanation as to why Linc’s handwriting suddenly took a dive.

Finishing up with my response to Hazel, I settle the plastic folder right back where I found it before getting comfortable in the manicured grass. I kick my legs out, crossing them at the ankles before just sitting here in the sun, closing my eyes, and breathing in the sunshine.

I rarely get to do this now. Every day is the same four walls, but this right here . . . I feel so at peace.

I don’t pay attention to the time, and before I know it, a familiar black Camaro pulls into the cemetery, driving right around until it pulls to a stop behind my Range Rover. Noah steps out a minute later, my lunch piled high in his arms, and with only one look at it, I know there’s no way in hell I’ll be able to eat all of that, but Noah is a machine when it comes to food. He could eat all day, non-stop, and still be hungry. I don’t know where it all goes.

“You scared me for a minute,” he tells me, striding up toward Linc’s grave, his gaze shifting to the tombstone and lingering there.

“I knew you’d eventually find me,” I say, knowing without a doubt that he would have stopped at the park before coming here as his second option.

Noah smiles and drops down beside me, handing me the extra-large soda. “I know you too well,” he agrees.

A smile lingers on my lips, and I turn my gaze back to Linc. “I didn’t think I was going to be here this long,” I admit, “but I just kinda sat down and never left. It’s peaceful here.”

“That, it is. I’ve been coming down here more often,” he admits. “You know, he would have turned fifteen this year.”

I nod, having had that exact thought today and nearly blowing myself away. “It’s insane how quickly time flies. It feels like yesterday that he died, and then I blinked, and suddenly, all this time has passed.”

Noah nods and loops his arm over my shoulder before pulling me into him. On instinct, I tilt my head, resting it against his big shoulder, wishing so desperately that I never have to lose this. We sit in silence as we eat our lunch, and before I know it, the clouds have blocked out the warmth of the sun. It’s certainly not cold during this time of year, but it’s enough to have Noah glancing at me nervously.

“Come on,” he tells me. “Let me get you home.”

Not wanting to argue with him, I simply nod and allow him to pull me up, knowing he’s right. I’ve been gone for longer than I anticipated, and soon enough, I’m going to need to lie down and replenish what little energy my body can work up.

Noah scoops up all of our trash from lunch and quickly jogs across the cemetery to get rid of it, and as I glance down at Linc’s grave one more time, a soft smile spreads across my face. “I hope you’re waiting for me, kid,” I tell him when Noah is far enough away and unable to hear me. A single tear rolls down my cheek, and I hastily wipe it away, feeling my heart shattering into a million tiny pieces. “I’m going to be seeing you real soon, but I’m going to need you to guide me through. I’m scared, Linc. I don’t know what waits for me on the other side, but I know with you holding my hand, I’m going to be okay.”

As I let out a heavy breath, the smile falters on my face, and I make my way back to my car, knowing without a doubt that Noah will follow me the whole way home.

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