Page 129 of Remember Us This Way

Abby presses her lips into a hard line. “She um . . . She couldn’t bring herself to face you after everything that went down yesterday,” she explains. “She feels like shit and hasn’t been able to get out of bed all day. But if it makes you feel any better, your friend really did a number on her. She has a black eye.”

I scoff. That actually does make me feel a little better. Though it’s almost comical that I’m the one with cancer and am a victim of her bullying, yet she can’t seem to get out of bed to face me. She has always been weak, and naturally, she’s doing her part in playing the victim. Some things will never change.

I’m glad to never have to see her again.

“Yeah, look,” Cora says. “We’re really sorry. If we knew that you were sick, we never would have—”

“Oh, this is just great,” I say, cutting her off. “Let me guess, you never would have humiliated me? Spent the last year ignoring me? Made me feel like complete shit?”

“Zoey—” Abby starts.

I shake my head. “No. What you’re trying to tell me is that if I wasn’t sick, you wouldn’t be standing here on my front doorstep trying to apologize. That your behavior is justified because you didn’t know I had cancer, like the way you’ve all treated me for the past year is somehow okay. But all you’re doing is confirming that I was right to pull away from you.”

“That’s not fair,” Cora says.

“Isn’t it?” I argue.

She shakes her head, her brows furrowing. “No. It’s not,” she says. “We were friends before any of this, for years. Doesn’t that count for anything? We were forced to pick sides, and you didn’t even seem to care.”

“I didn’t seem to care?” I scoff, needing to grip the door handle to keep from swaying. “Not one of you had my back when Noah came back into my life. You were all too busy trying to get him in bed to even care that we had history. Not to mention, you were all too self-obsessed to notice the way your behavior was killing me. So yeah, you know what? You’re right. I didn’t care about reconnecting with you. Once Noah helped me see that I was worth so much more than all of your bullshit, I didn’t even want to try.”

“You really hate us that much?” Abby questions, looking as though I just slapped her across the face.

“Honestly, I really don’t know,” I tell her. “I was willing to try again and reconnect with you both after you gave me a lift home from that lake party last summer. But in the end, what it comes down to is that you were terrible friends to me, and I’m not comfortable being forced to accept an insincere apology because you’re trying to clear your conscience before I die. It’s not my responsibility to bear the weight of your shitty decisions and behavior. If you want forgiveness, then earn it. Be good people, and don’t treat the next girl who needs help like shit.”

“So, that’s it, huh?” Cora questions. “You’re just going to die and leave things like this between us?”

“Yeah. I think this is what we call living with the consequences of your actions,” I say, reaching back to the entryway table to grab my car keys before stepping out of the house and locking the door behind me. “But let me put this into perspective for you. You just told me that you’re aware I’m dying, and not once have you asked me how I’m feeling, how my chemotherapy was, or if there’s even a chance that I might pull through. All you care about is how it affects you. But guess what? I am dying, and my time on this earth is limited, and the last thing I want to do is spend what little time I have left catering to your selfishness. I’m not interested.”

I walk away, getting halfway down the path toward my car when Abby calls out behind me. “You know, that’s really shitty of you, Zoey,” she says at my back, waiting for me to stop and turn around. “We were just innocent bystanders most of the time. The real person you have a problem with is Tarni, and now you’re just punishing us out of spite.”

I scoff, having to step back against my car to keep myself from swaying too much. “I’m not punishing you,” I tell them, already exhausted from this conversation. “I just no longer care. I’m too busy trying to spend every chance I have with the people who actually matter, the people who actually care and love me. I don’t have the energy to work you two back into my life in order to make you feel like you somehow matter. And if I’m perfectly honest, I’m not even sure I’ll make it to graduation. But for what it’s worth, you’re right. Most of the time, the nastiness came from Tarni, but not once did either of you step in and try to put a stop to it. Despite years of friendship, you allowed that bullshit to continue. So while the vile things that were said and done against me didn’t come directly from you, you’re both just as guilty.”

And with that, I unlock my Range Rover and climb in, needing just a second to sit and catch my breath.

I watch as Cora starts to cry and Abby pulls her away, leading her back to her car that’s parked behind mine, blocking me in, and I hope to God that they can use this as an opportunity to grow, to be better people. They drop back into the car, and it hits me that this could potentially be the very last time I ever see either of them, but despite how things were left, I don’t seem to care how they feel.

Then as they both get in and Abby starts backing out of my driveway, I pull out my phone and work on a new text to Noah.

Zoey: *Middle finger emoji*

Resident Asshole: What the hell was that for?

Zoey: You failed to mention that Abby and Cora knew I was sick. They just bombarded me, begging for forgiveness.

Resident Asshole: Ah shit. How’d that go?

Zoey: Take however you think it went and make it ten times worse.

Resident Asshole: Fuck. My bad.

Zoey: It’s fine, actually. I put things into perspective for them. Maybe they might have learned something for once. They didn’t even bother asking me how I was doing. They only cared how it affected their guilty consciences.

Resident Asshole: Fucking bitches. Always knew you were better off without them.

Resident Asshole: I’m on my way back now anyway. Want me to bring you cheesy fries?

Zoey: I’ll forgive you if you add a burger to go with it.

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