Page 113 of Remember Us This Way

Hope: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK???? Why am I meeting you in a cancer treatment center? Has this got something to do with when you had cancer as a kid? Cause like…fuuuuuuuck!

Zoey: Will you come?

Hope: Yeah. Be there in an hour.

The next hour passes in a blur of emotions: fear, nervousness, anxiety, and the overwhelming need to constantly pee. Why is it that whenever I’m nervous, I suddenly need to pee all the time? It’s ridiculous.

Nurse Kelly makes her way around my room, oohing and ahhing with Hazel over the way she’s decorating my room before going over my vitals and making sure I’m doing okay. “How are you feeling this afternoon?” she asks, jotting something down on my chart.

“Just tired,” I tell her, no difference from the other million times she’s asked over the past few days.

“That’s to be expected,” she tells me. “Try and get lots of rest though. You’re scheduled for your next dose on Monday morning.”

I groan. I knew it was coming, yet knowing I have to go through all of that again makes my stomach churn. But I’m not going to lie, spending those last few hours immersed in Noah’s old phone and my laptop really helped. It’s all I’ve done over the past few days. Mom had to force me to open a textbook or two just to keep me on top of my schoolwork, but the second I’m done, I’m back to my laptop, writing down every little thing I remember, documenting our story—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

“Where’s that broody boyfriend of yours this afternoon?” she questions as Hazel smothers a laugh at Kelly’s perfect description of Noah. “He’s usually scaring off the nurses by now, isn’t he?”

I laugh as I adjust myself in bed, lowering the screen of my laptop, not liking when others can see what I’m working on. “Usually,” I tell her. “But he has a big game tonight. He needs to be there, but I’m sure he’ll force his way through the doors after visiting hours tonight or early in the morning.”

“You know what?” Kelly says as she prepares to draw more blood. “I’ve been doing this job for a while, and I’ve never quite met a family member or partner quite as persistent as your Noah. It’s impressive and kinda terrifying at the same time.”

Hazel laughs. “You should have been there when my dad tried to tell him he couldn’t have a sleepover the day after he found out her leukemia was back. It was crazy. I think Dad even shook a little.”

I bury my face in my hands, hiding the wicked smirk across my face. I shouldn’t be so fond of that particular moment, but seeing the way Noah goes above and beyond for me will always make me melt. Even if it means turning that temper of his on my father.

“I can only imagine,” Kelly says just as a knock sounds at the door.

My head whips around to find Hope hovering in my doorway, her arms filled to the brim with grocery bags. She takes one look at me then takes in the needle currently sticking out of my arm, the machines, and the room filled with flowers and get-well-soon cards made by the other kids on the ward who wanted to make me feel welcome.

I expect her to yell at me, scream or cry, but she just gapes and holds up the grocery bags. “I bought snacks.”

Hope stumbles into my room, dumping the bags on the end of the bed before climbing right up and crossing her legs so we sit face to face. Then before she says a word, she starts unpacking the snacks and hands me a full tub of ice cream and a spoon before her eyes go wide. She pulls it back again. “Wait. Are you allowed this?”

“Yes,” I laugh, snatching the ice cream right back. “But don’t be surprised if I throw it right back up.”

“Ugh, gross,” she mutters under her breath.

Kelly gives me a warm smile, and I roll my eyes. She was only just saying this morning that she noticed I hadn’t had any visitors apart from my family and Noah, and Aunt Maya, of course. She didn’t specifically say that she thought I should open up and allow people in, but her message was loud and clear. I’m starting to realize that Kelly is the type of person who’s more than happy to shove her nose into someone else’s business, but only for the right reasons, and I’m finding that she’s really starting to grow on me.

“I hope you brought a second tub,” Kelly tells Hope. “The drugs Zoey has been on are very potent, so no sharing. Be sure to use the guest bathrooms located out in the foyer and wash your hands regularly. Chemotherapy is no joke. You both need to be careful.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Hope says with a nod, though I’m sure she would have already received this warning from the nurses at the reception desk.

With that, Kelly excuses herself, and I’m left with Hope’s saddened gaze on mine. “Chemotherapy, huh?” she asks, her shoulders slumped forward as Hazel putts around the room, straightening the photo frames while pretending she’s not listening. “Does that mean you relapsed? Your leukemia is back?”

“Yeah, we found out last Wednesday and everything just moved really quickly from there,” I tell her. “Sorry I didn’t say anything. I was still processing, and then I was here to start treatment before I knew it.”

“Shit,” she mutters, her bottom lip jutting out. “I don’t know if I’m allowed to give you a hug.”

“Of course you can,” I tell her. “But an intense make-out session is strictly out of the question.”

Hope laughs and scrambles across my bed, throwing her arms around me while being as careful as possible, more than aware of all the machines. I scoot over, and she settles in beside me, dragging the bag of snacks onto her lap and showing me all the yummy goodness that I haven’t had an appetite for in nearly three whole days.

“Sucks to be Noah,” she mutters darkly, a smirk on her lips. “I bet he didn’t take that well.”

“Not even a little bit,” I say, remembering the look on his face when he realized he wasn’t allowed to kiss me until after I was released from the treatment center in five weeks.

“So, what does this mean?” Hope asks, almost using the snacks as a distraction to keep her tears at bay. “You stay here for a little while, have chemotherapy, and then you’ll be better?”

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