Page 47 of Played

“I’d say it’s the other way around. He all but pole-vaulted to her when he saw her arrive.”

Freya laughs. “She is rather smitten.”

“And you’re sure that she hasn’t screwed any of my other brothers, or perhaps my cousin?” I ask and regret the words the second they come out of my mouth. Why the fuck would I say that? You idiot! Her face changes. The smile fades. She’s about to walk away and I stop her. “Fuck, I don’t know why I said that. I’m so sorry.”

“I do.” She says under her breath, taking a sip of wine from the glass she’s holding. “Because you’re an asshole.”

“Fine. I deserved that.” I admit, looking at the floor. “The truth is, I said it because I had to distract myself from saying what I really wanted to say. And that is that you look fucking stunning.” I say with so much conviction, I surprise myself. I look at her and her eyes meet mine. “I’m serious, Freya. You are so goddamn beautiful I’m fucking tongue-tied.” I lick my lips. “I tried to talk myself out of telling you how gorgeous you looked, and that stupid comment came out instead.” My gaze is apologetic. “I’m so sorry.”

She blinks, recovering. “Why did you talk yourself out of it, Ethan?”

“I don’t know.” I say honestly. “I think it’s because ever since I met you, I’ve had to have some sort of filter on.”

“Why’s that?” She probes.

“Lots of reasons. None that I can talk about here or now.”

She turns to me, so that nobody else can hear her. Her mouth is set, her eyes are slit. “Something tells me, Ethan Harris, that the only reason why you would have a filter on is because you always thought that I wasn’t good enough for you. You denied your feelings for me when we weren’t together, and then you lied to me when we were together. And you lied to yourself. Your da wasn’t the problem, Ethan. You were. And me sleeping with Caleb just gave you the perfect out.” She’s speaking through clenched teeth. “And I’m too fucking old and busy to help you sort your shit out, so you can shove all this up your ass.”

I’m looking at her, seeing all the hurt that I caused her, for something so foolish, so futile, so needless. And it’s like it’s a fresh wound again. She continues. “Trudy talked me into coming to this wedding, thinking that I’m still in love with you, but you can rest assured, Ethan, that I am not. I have much better things to do with my time than chase a ghost. So, you can go fuck yourself.”

I let her go. I don’t try to stop her this time. She heads towards the guest house, alone. Trudy is talking to Laney, while Maverick gazes from a distance. The throng of people makes it difficult for me to watch where she’s headed, but I weave my gaze in and out, until I see her walk inside the building. And as my reverie is broken by the photographer asking me to stand next to Caleb in the picture, I see it.

…da’s seering gaze looking straight at me.

She’s sitting on the couch in the living room of the guest house, when I walk inside. Everybody is partying, Maverick and Trudy are flirting, while being completely unaware of Freya’s whereabouts. I bring her a glass of wine and myself a beer, and I sit down on the couch, even though I’m not invited to. “You’re right.” I say straight to her. “It took me a long time to realize it, but you’re right.”

Freya hasn’t been crying. She’s a strong woman. She just wanted to be alone and even though I’ve robbed her of that now, it’s for good. I can see her chest heaving she’s so angry at me, but she says nothing. “I did take the first opportunity to get out.” I lick my lips and take a sip of beer before continuing. “The truth is, I was fucking scared. I’d never loved a woman before. And worse, I was so afraid because of how much I loved you, and I knew how heartbreaking it would be for me to tell you that my da didn’t approve. I never wanted you to feel like you weren’t enough. It was easier for you to believe that I left because of you and Caleb.”

She tosses back the wine and sets the glass on the coffee table. And she waits. She knows that I’m not finished.

“I realize now that you felt like you weren’t enough, anyway. Despite my efforts.” I sniff. “I never let you meet my family or my friends, and you respected that, by never making me meet any of yours. You were happy just to have me, no matter in what form, and I’m such a shit for it.”

Finally, she says something to me, leveling with me. “What about my lie, Ethan? Are you ever going to figure that one out?”

I nod. “Aye. It’s simple. In the beginning, it was none of my business, but when things got serious, you were just protecting me, just like I thought that I was protecting you. We both made mistakes.” I scoff a laugh. “Evidently, lots of women have made their way around my family, and I’m just a prude for thinking it was so risqué.”

“I never cheated on you, Ethan.” She clarifies.

“That was never in my mind. I know you’re not a whore, Freya. That’s one of the reasons why I was so drawn to you.”

She tilts her head. “And why, pray tell, are you bringing all this to my attention, Ethan? Is this just to appease your da, or do you really feel like this needs to be brought out?”

“To be honest, Freya, both. You know how powerful my da is, and it’s because of him that I’ve been having these epiphanies. He’s a changed man since Laney and Peg came into our lives. And it’s really got me thinking.”

“So, he’s pushed you to marry me, has he? Just like he pushed Caleb to marry Laney?” She tests.

“Truthfully, he likes you, and as painful and embarrassing as it is to admit, he sees how much I care for you, and he wants me to be happy.”

She rises. “Ethan, that’s all fine and dandy, but I’m not getting roped into a forced marriage. It’s twisted and fucked and frankly, I’m surprised that Caleb and Laney are getting on as they are, since they’re the first victims of this game your da is playing. I don’t want to be a part of it. I’ve had my heart broken once from this family, and I’m not interested in doing it again.”

I raise my hand. “Please. Sit down, Freya.”

After an eye roll and a deep sigh, she relents. “Fine. Go on.”

I swallow, going for trite. “Just answer me one question.”

I have her full attention, albeit it’s snide.

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