Page 26 of Played

“You’ve said that already. Yet you’re still here.” She points out. “Give my best to Caleb.” She says, changing the subject, after a beat. “When’s the wedding?”

“Soon, but no date has been set yet. Laney wants to marry before the bairn starts to show. She wants to have them wed before the adoption papers are processed.”

“That makes sense.” She sniffs but gets a warm smile and a distant look on her face. “God, the papers will go nuts when he marries.”

“Aye. The headlines are already littered with the news.”

“Well, it’s huge, Ethan. The two biggest investment companies in the world are marrying. It’s something you’d only hear about in a fairytale. And Caleb settling down, God, I’m sure millions of women never thought they’d live to see the day.”

I feel my jaw clench again. “You jealous, Freya?” I ask, always letting my tongue work before my brain. Letting that tiny fear that’s lived inside my head all this time finally show its ugliness. “You wish it was you?”

“Ethan, I once told you that my sole mission in life is to be happy.” She says, in a ‘level with me’ voice. “If Caleb ever showed an ounce of true interest in me or I in him, we would have been miserable. There was no chemistry there, well, not much, anyway. You Harris’s are a good-looking bunch, sure, but what’s meant to be is meant to be, and we weren’t.” She pauses, and I allow myself to look at her for a second. “Nor were we, evidently.” Freya reaches her hand to me and gives it a squeeze. “You need to let it go now, Ethan. All that anger inside you should have been long gone. I’m guessing you never met anyone after me.”

“Neither have you.” I point out, not caring if I sound cold or not.

“You’re right.” She chuckles mirthlessly. “I promised myself long ago that I’d love once, and if I got my heart broken, I’d never love again, and so far, I’ve kept that up.” A sigh. “As for casual relationships, hell, I know where that led me, and that was my first attempt at it, too. Some things are not meant for some people. I learned that lesson the hard way.” She rises and goes into her spare room. When she returns, she’s got a teddy bear in her hand. “Here. Give this to the bairn.” She hands it to me.

“What’s this?” I ask, inspecting it. It’s an old Care Bear, with a big rainbow on its belly, and a heart on top of the rainbow.

“It belonged to my aunt. She gave it to me when we moved to the states. I was terrified and she told me that the bear would protect me. I’ve kept it all these years in hopes to give it to some bairn in the same boat some day. After what that little lass has been through, a teddy bear with magical powers could be just the thing for her.”

“I can’t take this, Freya. You’ve had it for decades.”

“So? What good is it doing collecting dust in my spare room?”

“It’s got to have sentimental value, Freya. It belonged to your aunt.”

“My aunt gave me many things. But most were lessons. She also taught me to give back when you can. That’s why I make the software and all but give it away, that’s why I give to charities, and that’s why I give old stuffed teddy bears to little girls who are scared to death of moving to a new country. It’s no mind to me, Ethan. Take it. You don’t even have to tell her who it’s from. Just as long as she gets it, that’s all that matters to me.”

I feel like a heel. Like a sack of shit. I look on the tag under the bear’s rear. It has Freya’s name written on it. “I took it to school. My mama labeled it so it wouldn’t get lost. You can scratch it out if you’re afraid Caleb might be upset.”

I swallow. My heart sinks. Here, I’ve come to her house to chew her a new one, and she ends up giving me something special to her, to give to someone she’s not even met. “Thank you. That’s very sweet of you, Freya.”

She purses her lips into a smile. “See. I’m not all bad.”

I nod. “Aye. I never thought you were.”

She looks at me. Her eyes are sparkling with emotion. “That’s good to hear after all this time, Ethan.”

Chapter 8

Freya

I’ve made him feel uncomfortable. Not sure why. I’m only speaking the truth. That’s all I’ve ever spoken to him. Well, that’s all I’ve ever wanted to speak, that is. Love is a funny thing, see. The more I wanted to tell him, the more I was afraid to. I loved him. He loved me. I didn’t think I’d ever see that again, and I was right. I haven’t. And I won’t. He doesn’t look back as he walks out the door, carrying my teddy bear. But I do see him look at me as he starts his truck. It’s a quick glance. But the look in his eyes is heartbreaking. He’s not over what happened between us. If I’m honest with myself, neither am I. Although it’s been a year, it’s still so raw.

What’s upsetting is that he doesn’t understand. The relationship between Caleb and I wasn’t even a relationship. It was nothing. I never had feelings for him. But with Ethan, I loved him like I’ve never loved before and will never love again. I’m not sure if he gets that. I’m not sure if there is a way to convey that, either, or if it’s worthwhile to try. It’s clear that he cares, otherwise he wouldn’t have shown up here, but how much he cares is another thing altogether. I stare at the towel on the table, dripping with thawing ice, and it’s like time is frozen.

“Wh...why are you out of breath?” He asks me, as I get to the door. “Were you in the tub or something?” It’s my birthday, but he doesn’t know. I know that he wants to keep our relationship a secret, and I’ve accepted it, so I didn’t tell him that it’s my birthday, and a bunch of my friends are taking me out for dinner later. I had plans to see him tonight, and I didn’t want to break them, so I sort of double booked myself with him.

“No. I just didn’t want to keep you waiting, and I was half dressed.”

He wiggles his brows. “I could have handled that.”

I step aside so he can enter. I hate to hurry him along, and I know that he has a late meeting tonight, so he literally squeezed me in, even though I told him we could get together tomorrow night. His arms wrap around me as he looks into my eyes. “You look nice.”

I smile. “Thank you.” I kiss his lips and wipe off the lipstick residue. “How long can you stay?”

“Just a few minutes.”

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