Page 9 of Mia Amata

“So the way this works, I will put some gel on your abdominal area, then put this wand on your abdomen. I will then be able to see a picture on the screen here and take measurements to see how big the baby is. I can also see how well the baby is developing. It should be painless for both of you.” She looks at me seriously.

“I say ‘should be’ because I know you have areas of bruising, so there may be a little pain if I go over an area with significant bruising. I do want to see if I can check on any internal bleeding. It should feel like pushing on a bruise, maybe a bit more painful depending on the severity of the damage he did to you. Any questions?”

It all seemed pretty straightforward; I really didn’t have any questions at this point, so I told her no. “Shall we proceed then?” she asked.

“Yes, let’s do it,” I told her.

“Good. I’ll explain more as I go, if you have any questions or if a spot is a lot more tender, and you want me to stop just let me know.” I nodded my understanding.

She pulled out a tube of gel and a couple of blue pads. She went into the bathroom and brought out a warm wet washcloth, which she handed to me.

“To start with, I need you to pull your top up a little bit and your pants down just a little, so I have access to your abdominal area.” I did as she asked, and then she tucked the blue pads in both the shirt and pants, explaining this was just to keep the gel off my clothes.

She picked up the gel and opened the tube, saying to me with a smile, “No matter how much I try to warm this up beforehand, it is always cold by the time I put it on. Just a warning, the gel will be cold.” She put a significant amount on my abdomen and then put the tube aside. Picking up the wand, she turned on the machine and made a couple of adjustments to the screen that she sat on the bedside table, putting the wand on my belly. She spread the gel around as she moved the wand around, using some pressure to get a decent picture she explained. I had been watching her move the wand around, not looking at the screen, for several minutes in silence.

“Mattie,” she said. I looked up at her. “Look at the screen.”

I turn, looking at the screen, staring at the image there. “This is your baby. You won’t be able to see much, you are pretty early in your pregnancy,” Audra pointed to a small area on the screen. As we watched, a little movement could be seen. She moved the wand a little bit so that on the screen a tiny little flicker could be seen. “You can barely see it, but this is the baby’s heartbeat. We can try to hear it if you would like.”

I nodded, not taking my eyes off the screen. She turned up the volume so that a fast beat could be heard. “It sounds fast, but that is typical for a baby.” While she was pointing things out to me, she was also taking measurements. I was transfixed by the image on the screen, and once again, tears started down my cheek.

She took all the measurements she needed, explaining what I was looking at during the whole process. She then asked me if I wanted a picture of the baby.

“You can do that?” I asked.

She smiled, and a few minutes later she was handing me a picture of the baby. I stared at it in amazement. Audra went about cleaning the ultrasound machine and putting things away. She took the warm washcloth, gently washing the gel off of my abdomen. She threw the blue pads away; I pulled my clothes back into position. When she was done putting everything away, she sat back down, smiling at me.

“First off, the internal bleeding I could see is very minimal, you should heal up from that in a few days with the bed rest. No long-term issues from that at all,” Audra explained. “Secondly, from all the measurements I took today, I would say you are about six weeks pregnant.”

I looked at her in surprise, “That’s a little over a month. Is the baby… OK? Healthy?” I asked.

“The baby seems perfectly fine and looks very healthy. Everything seems fine with your pregnancy.” She reached into the bags that she brought with her, pulling out a bottle of pills. “These are prenatal vitamins. I want you to take one a day. If you have any problem with these pills, sometimes they can make you feel sick to your stomach, we can try something different like a chewable or a gummy. It is important for both you and the baby that you take these daily. Taking them with food may help with stomach issues.”

I took the bottle from her, telling her I would be sure to start them today.

“I know this is all so new for you, Mattie, once it sinks in that you are pregnant, we can discuss what you want to do about the baby. You have options that I will just mention now, we can discuss them in more depth if you would like. You could have the baby, keep the baby, raise it yourself. You can have the baby, giving it up for adoption. We do have enough time that you can terminate the pregnancy.” I had been looking at her as she spoke.

“I’m keeping my baby,” I say, surprising myself. The words were out of my mouth before I even thought about all the options. I knew in my heart this was what I wanted.

Audra smiled at me, “Are you sure?”

“I know that my future is uncertain, that today is only the first day I’ve been away from him. Seeing the baby on ultrasound made her real to me. I want to be her mom.” I looked down at the picture of my baby.

“Her? It is too early to see the sex of the baby on ultrasound.” Audra said, laughing.

“It’s a girl. I know it is,” I said, smiling down at the picture in my hands.

Chapter 5

Audra packed up her medical bag, leaving me lying in bed, encouraging me to eat with the reminder that I was now eating for two. I asked her not to tell Eva and Lauren anything about the ultrasound, but to send them down, so I can show them the picture and tell them my decision.

“Mattie?” I heard Eva call from the top of the stairs.

“Yes, come on down,” I called back. A couple of minutes later Eva and Lauren walk into the bedroom.

Lauren said, “Audra said you wanted to see us?”

I nodded, asking them to sit down. I took a deep breath, then said, “Audra did the ultrasound, the internal bleeding is very minimal. I will be OK in a few days.”

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