Page 81 of Always Been You

He wasn't sure how much Bonnie knew about what went down between them. He knew the Myers were close, but he had no idea what Jess had shared.

"Can I give you a piece of unsolicited advice?"

"Please." Ethan wasn't just being polite. He'd welcome any advice that Bonnie had.

"Jess loves you, and if I'm not mistaken, you love her too. I'm sure you have your reasons, just like your dad did, for not wanting to have attachments.”

They were actually the exact same as his dad’s.

“But even though your dad's greatest fear came true, do you think he should’ve done anything differently? Do you think you would’ve been better off if he hadn't pulled you out of foster care and adopted you? Or are you grateful for the time you had with him?"

Ethan had honestly never thought about it like that.

"In this world, there are no guarantees. Tomorrow isn't promised for anyone. No one can control the future. Believe me, if they could, John would’ve figured out how to do it by now.” She chuckled. “All anyone can do is make sure that they show the people they love that they love them. The best that any of us can do is live each day showing the people that we love that we love them. That’s what living is, the rest is just existing.”

Ethan stared at Jess’s mom as she walked back in and joined the party. He saw her walk up to her husband and when John saw her, his face lit up and he pulled her into his arms. Jess was standing beside them and he watched her watch her parents embrace while Ali and Kade cut the cake.

She was happy for them, yes. But she also looked sad. And lonely. His soul recognized it, just liked he’d recognized her grief on the pier that day. He’d recognized it because he’d been feeling the exact same way.

And then, like a flash, everything clicked into place. He was robbing them of happiness now because he was scared of what might happen in the future. Jess had been right. He was being a chicken shit.

Well, he was done being scared. He just hoped it wasn’t too late.

28

When Ali first brought up the idea of having her reception on the pier, two days after she got married and inviting the entire town, Jess thought she was crazy. But as she looked around and saw everyone celebrating, laughing, dancing, and drinking, she realized her bestie was brilliant.

The festive atmosphere was contagious and Jess was determined to enjoy herself, even if a certain person was driving her crazy because he kept staring at her.

Which you only know because you keep checking to see if he is, the voice in her head pointed out.

And you're disappointed when he isn't, that same voice added.

She wouldn't say disappointed. It was more like irritated.

Mostly at herself.

The last two days Ethan had been calling, texting, and had even stopped by the shop. She’d ignored all of his attempts. She’d even hid in the back when he stopped by the shop and made Amelia lie and say that she wasn’t there.

She was avoiding him.

She told herself that it was because she needed a fresh start, but she was just scared. What if he didn’t love her, but he didn’t want to leave things how they were. Ethan was a standup guy. Her biggest fear was for him to ask her to talk and him start off by saying, “I’m sorry I led you on.”

At least as long she avoided that conversation she could hold on to the hope that he actually had been in love with her. She wasn’t sure she could face a reality where what she had with Ethan really hadn’t been love.

“Jess!” Ali waved her over from across the pier. “We’re ready for pictures!”

Jess put her pity party on hold and set her drink down as she joined her friend.

“Thanks again for wearing the dress,” Ali said as Jess reached her.

Ali had texted her this morning and asked if Jess could wear her Dirty Dancing dress because she wanted to take bridal party pictures tonight. She’d asked if she could just wear the dress that she’d worn for the wedding, but Ali said since she had a different dress for the reception she wanted Jess to have a different one too. Since it was her one and only bridezilla moment, Jess had agreed.

“No problem.” Jess started to look for the photographer when the music stopped and a familiar voice came on over the speakers.

“Can I have everyone’s attention?” Ethan stood at the end of the pier where they’d cleared a space for the dance floor.

She turned to her friend to see if she knew what was going on. Ali didn’t look at all confused as to why Ethan had a microphone in his hand and was asking for everyone’s attention instead of just joining them for pictures.

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