Page 79 of Always Been You

"I'm not. Not really. I barely even know him. When I was a kid he'd show up a few times a year and stay for a few days and I thought that was normal. I thought that's what all dads did. But when I got a little older and went to school I realized a lot of kids lived with their dads. I asked my mom about it and she told me that my dad was married and had another family that he lived with. At the time, I really didn't understand what that meant, I just sort of accepted it. But when I was a teenager, I Googled him and found out he was a politician. I saw pictures of his family. He has a wife and four kids. One of his daughters was born the week before I was. For some reason, that made me never want to speak to him again.

"I think the last time I did was when he stopped by after Ryder was born. But, last week he called and left me a message saying he was going to be out of reach for a while. Then the next day I saw his face on all of the morning shows. He’s in some trouble—"

"Wait! Is your dad Senator Wilson?"

"Yep."

"Wow." Jess had noticed the news stories about the senator from Massachusetts because Brynn’s dad had Hollywood good looks, but she hadn’t really paid attention to what was going on.

"Yeah, it's been a little surreal. And I don’t know, I just want a change.” Brynn looked like she was running from ghosts of family past. "Anyway, what about you? How are you doing post-Ethan? Have you talked to him?"

"No." Not since I told him he was chicken shit.

Jess had replayed that conversation over and over again in her head and as much as her delivery left a lot to be desired, she wasn't upset that she'd said the things she had. She might’ve been able to choose better words to use, but she stood behind the sentiment.

She had honestly believed that Ethan would follow her to her car.

He didn’t.

Then when she got home, she’d been sure he was going to call her or show up.

He didn’t.

She told herself he just needed a little time to get his head out of his ass and once he did, he’d come crawling back to her.

He didn’t.

He’d done exactly what she’d asked him to do if he didn’t love her. He’d left her the hell alone.

“I’m sorry,” Brynn said sincerely.

“Me too.” A sad smile tugged at Jess’s mouth as she picked up the scissors. “Are you ready?”

Brynn lifted her soda can. “To fresh starts.”

Jess tapped the scissors. “To fresh starts.”

As much as she hated it, that’s what she needed. A fresh start.

27

Ethan stood out on the deck at Lanterns and stared at the moonlight reflecting off of the surface of the water and relaxed after fulfilling his best man duties for the day. It had been an emotionally draining few hours and he was trying to recharge.

Being around Jess was painful. Physically painful. He’d gone through withdrawals after going cold turkey on her. And now, just seeing her in even this small dose was shooting him back into a painful detox.

He craved her. He needed her. He loved her. Just being near her was a test of willpower and it wasn’t helping that the entire day had been about celebrating love.

Ali and Kade’s ceremony was beautiful, simple, and his favorite part: short. And now they were all gathered for the private reception. He and Jess had given toasts. Ali and Kade had played a video of Patrick from years ago predicting the two of them getting together. It was strange to see and hear his friend again.

It made him wish he had more videos of his dad. He'd been missing him a lot lately. He’d never wanted fatherly advice so bad in his entire life.

From the time he could remember making his own decisions, Ethan had been so sure about them. Things were clear, black and white. He'd known what he wanted out of life for so long. He'd wanted Jess and to be a cop. Now, now he wasn't sure of either of those things.

His grandma had a lot of thoughts on the matter, mainly that he was “making the biggest mistake of your life by letting that girl go”, but even she’d gotten fed up with him not listening.

He'd been back on the job for a couple of weeks and it just didn't feel right. And he hadn't spoken to Jess in a month and that felt wrong. Nothing in his life made sense right now.

Well, except Jess.

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