Page 77 of Always Been You

"How do you know that? You didn't even give it—give us—a chance."

"I just know."

"How?!"

"Because I'm not quitting my job."

Jess tried to fit Ethan's statement into the context of their conversation but she wasn't able to. "What are you talking about?"

"I can't be with you and be on the job."

"Why not? Plenty of people seem to do it just fine."

"Because I'm not going to let you be Lori, or me.”

"What?" He wasn’t making sense.

"I’m not going to let you be the person that has someone waiting outside of your school or showing up at your door to tell you that I'm gone. I won't do that to you."

"Oh my God!" She shouted. "And people say I'm a drama queen.”

He looked at her like he agreed that she was kind of a drama queen, and she wanted to punch the smug expression off of his face.

But instead, she decided to point out what an idiot he was being. "Who is asking you to quit your job? And do you think you’ve got the market cornered on being scared?! Do you think that I want you to be like my parents? Do you think I haven't thought a million times about what would happen if I get sick again?

“Do you remember the first time I met you? I wasn't scared for me. I was scared for my parents. What was going to happen to them if I was gone? Do you think I want to put you through that? Do you think I want to have to tell you if my organs start rejecti—”

"Don't,” he cut her off.

"Don't what? Tell the truth? That's the truth. I might get sick again. And you might end up like your dad or Carter."

"Jess.”

She thought about screaming since he’d said her name again but decided to take a different route. “But you know what? None of that matters, because I love you. So, I’m going to ask you if you love me one more time, and if you say no then—"

She stopped when she realized she was giving basically the same speech Skylar had given Will in Good Will Hunting. When she watched the movie she thought it was such a romantic and heartbreaking moment, but now that she was living it, she realized it wasn’t.

“No, you know what?” she grabbed her purse, “I love you, Ethan. And I’m willing to fight for you and for us. But I’m not going to beg you to tell me that you love me too. You’re a grown-ass man. If you love me, do something about it. If not, leave me the hell alone.”

And with that, she turned and walked out of his house…maybe for the last time. And her heart truly broke…for the first time.

26

"I want to cut it all off." Brynn sat in Jess's chair and studied herself in the mirror.

"You want the breakup cut?" Jess had been half-tempted to get one herself, but she loved her hair too much.

"The what?" Brynn lifted her gaze to meet Jess's in the mirror.

"The breakup cut," Jess restated.

"I'm not familiar with it."

"Really?" Jess was sure everyone had heard of it. "A lot of girls chop off their hair after a breakup."

"Why?"

"I think it is symbolic of a fresh start and makes them feel like a new woman."

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