Page 63 of Always Been You

"Carter?" he asked.

"Last I heard he was in surgery. Your Captain was talking to the doctors when the nurse came and brought me back here."

"Jess."

"Jess is here. So is half of Whisper Lake. You gave everybody quite a scare."

"I'm fine," he repeated.

He heard the sound of the door opening and then his Captain's voice. "I'll come back."

"No. That's okay. I’ll let you two boys talk." He saw his grandma sniff and wipe her hand beneath her eyes. She leaned down, and kissed Ethan on the forehead, the same way she used to do when he was a kid. "I love you, my boy."

"Love you."

She turned to leave but he held onto her hand. "Jess."

Nana squeezed his hand. “I'll send her back."

Ethan released his grip and closed his eyes until he heard the door shut. When he opened them again he saw that Captain Hines was standing at his bedside.

"Carter?" Ethan asked.

There was a moment's hesitancy before Hines responded, and in that millisecond, Ethan knew his partner hadn't made it.

"How are you feeling?"

"He's gone." Ethan's voice was weak but he knew that his Captain heard his statement and was choosing to ignore it when he began debriefing him.

"Simpson is alive and back in custody. We were able to ID two of the men that ambushed the recovery. They were mercenaries from Colombia. One was DOA, the other is alive but not talking. We're thinking that they're connected to the source for the H."

He was happy to hear that Simpson was back in custody and that he'd done his job, but the only thing he cared about right now was getting confirmation of Carter's condition.

"Carter. Is he gone?" In Ethan's heart he already knew the answer but he needed to hear it from the captain.

Ethan had worked under Captain Hines for six years in the sheriff’s department. And when Hines was putting together a task force under the U.S. Marshall umbrella he’d recruited Carter and Steele to be on the team. The man was the poster child for stoic. He didn't show emotion. He was even-keeled, fair, and a great leader. When Ethan saw him drop his head as he inhaled slowly, he had his answer.

"Lori. Does she know?”

The captain nodded.

"Where is she?"

Carter and Ethan had gone to the academy together and been hired by the Sheriff’s Department the same week. Over the years that they'd known each other they'd formed a bond that was closer than just friendship. Carter was like the brother he never had and vice versa. He was his family.

Ethan had been at the bar the night Lori met Carter. He was in their wedding a year later. He was on duty with Carter when she went into labor with their first and second babies. He’d driven him to this very hospital and had been in the waiting room when both of his girls were born.

"She's with Carter now, saying goodbye."

Ethan closed his eyes as excruciating, unbearable pain speared through his chest. It wasn't from any of his injuries. It was worse than any physical pain could be as he thought about Lori having to tell Carly and Jilly that their dad was gone. Those two beautiful girls were going to have to grow up without their dad. It was a reality he couldn't bear to think about.

"You did good, Steele. Rest. I'll be back to check on you tomorrow."

He heard his captain but he didn't respond.

All he wanted to do was wake up from this nightmare. He wanted a time machine so he could go back and take Carter's place. His mind was replaying all of the choices that were made, all of the ways he could’ve saved his partner's life. All of the scenarios that could have, that should have played out so that his partner was still alive.

The door opened again and he opened his eyes and saw an angel. The light from the hallway backlit an hourglass frame that he would recognize anywhere.

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