Page 23 of Always Been You

"No." Her voice was steady and strong as she sat up straighter and although she was small and young, there was a maturity well beyond her years in her as she matter-of-factly stated, "I'm going to die."

"What?"

"I heard my mom talking to my dad. They were downstairs and didn't know I could hear. I'm going to die."

Her answer had shocked him so much. He just stood and stared at her for a moment before he sat down beside her and let his own confession slip out. "My dad died. His funeral was yesterday."

"And you're sad," she said.

"Yeah." He looked over at her and asked, "Are you scared?"

"No." She shook her head and looked back out over the water. "Not really for me."

After a few moments, he heard her sniff, and he glanced over and saw that tears had filled her eyes again. "But...my parents…I don't know what they're going to..."

"It's okay." Ethan had been so wrapped up in his own tragedy that seeing this girl devastated, not for herself, but for her parents was eye-opening. And then he said what any boy would say to a girl with tears falling down her eyes. "Don't cry."

"I'm not." She barked back at him as she sniffed and wiped her cheeks.

They sat beside one another, neither saying a word, for what, at the time, felt like a lifetime, before she turned to him and said, "I'm okay with dying but there is one thing I'm scared about."

"What?"

"Not knowing what this feels like."

"What what feels—"

She cut him off by pressing her lips to his. The feel of her lips against his was so shocking he almost didn’t notice the feeling of the oxygen tube beneath his nose. It wasn't a long kiss, and he hadn't even really participated. He'd been so shocked he didn’t do anything.

When she pulled away, they stared at each other for several beats before a look of unimpressed indifference crossed her face. "That's it? That wasn't so great."

He remembered at the time the challenge that her response had ignited in him. He wanted so badly to lean over and kiss her again to redeem himself. But he never got the chance. Just as he leaned forward, he heard screaming and looked up and saw a frantic man and woman running across the shore toward the dock.

"Jess!" a woman yelled. "Jess!"

"Are you okay?!" the man bellowed.

"That's my parents," Jess said as she slowly, carefully stood. "I snuck out. Thanks for the kiss. At least now I know."

He remembered watching as she made her way down the wooden planked wharf. Her parents met her halfway, throwing their arms around her as they cried.

It was almost two years before he saw her again around town, and another three before he talked to her again when he found her passed out in the hallway. To this day, they'd never spoken about that day on the pier. To this day, he didn't even know if she remembered it, or that it was him on the dock.

All these years that he'd ignored his feelings for Jess made him wonder now if it might have something to do with that day. That look of disappointment on her face. Was his hesitancy to tell her how he felt because he was scared to see that look on her face again?

Maybe. But it didn't matter anymore. She might not feel what he did, but it was time he found out once and for all.

Lifting his hand, he rapped his knuckles on her door.

Jess peeked out the window and glared at him for several seconds before opening the door. "What are you doing here?"

Ethan opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

Jess's dark hair was down, flowing like a waterfall around her shoulders. Her sea glass gaze was usually surrounded by a thick black line but was now bare and even more breathtaking than usual. She was wearing an over-sized T-shirt and sweats and somehow managed to look sexier than she had when she'd been in a bikini on the lake earlier.

"Hello." She waved her hand in front of his face. "Earth to Ethan."

He blinked at the motion and managed to ask, "Can I come in?"

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