Page 92 of Burden to Bear

“I’m relieved to know you don’t feel as though I’ve hindered any of the enjoyment. I hadn’t planned on taking a trip like this, even for a few days, but I’m so glad that you came up with the idea. It’s really been the break I didn’t know I needed.”

A look of pride washed over him. “That’s what I was hoping for. You’re in the homestretch, and I know this baby can come any day now. I wanted you to have this opportunity to kick back and relax for a few days.”

My fingers tightened around his, my heart melting. Brock had been the best thing to ever happen to me.

We’d been together just over a month now, and it was easily the best month of my life, even as it had been the most physically challenging in the pregnancy. There was no question Brock was the reason for that.

I couldn’t pinpoint one specific thing he’d done for me or that we’d done together that led to me making such a declaration, though. If I was honest, it was all the little things—many of the things we’d already been experiencing before we’d made it official between us. Brock helped with building or moving baby furniture. We continued to go on walks regularly throughout the week. We’d have dinner together nearly every night, sometimes eating outside on my deck for a change of scenery. We watched movies. We cuddled. We spent most nights together at one of our homes.

Brock continued to go out of his way to handle things that weren’t his responsibility, too. He mowed my grass and would drive me to the grocery store, after which he’d carry all the bags into the house. He’d take out the trash for me, and he’d pull weeds around my property whenever they popped up.

I never expected him to handle any of those tasks, but he happily did them, often demanding I not even think about tackling them on my own. And on the days when I was feeling particularly tired, he’d come up behind me and offer a relaxing massage.

Brock had been the biggest blessing in my life over the last month, and so I tried to find other ways to thank him for all the ways in which he loved me well.

I’d bake desserts and cook dinners. I loved on him often—with kisses, hugs, and frequent sex. In many ways, loving him back benefited me, too.

And this trip was just one more of those ways Brock proved how much he loved and cared for me. He wanted me to have the chance to rest before the baby arrived.

“There’re still roughly three weeks left until my due date, and I’ll admit I’m torn,” I replied.

“What do you mean?”

I didn’t hesitate to share my dilemma. “There’s this part of me that just can’t wait to meet this baby and would be ready to have him or her today. That part of me finally feels ready to step fully into this new chapter of my life—motherhood. But there’s this other part of me, the one I’ve spoken to you about before, that realizes just how much my life is going to change. Even if I know it’s ultimately going to be for the better in the long run and I’ll wonder how I ever lived without him or her, I guess I’m still hoping to get these last few weeks to appreciate and honor this part of my life coming to an end.”

Brock’s thumb continued to stroke reassuringly across my knuckles. “You’ll still be able to do all or most of the things you’ve always enjoyed.”

Nodding my agreement, I said, “I know. But even if I’m doing something like we just did by going to the beach, it’s going to look different. I’ll be doing that with a baby in tow, and it’ll be about how he or she is living that experience. It’ll be about seeing the world through my baby’s eyes.”

“If it’s anything like I feel with my niece, I think I can safely say you’re going to find it to be the most incredible experience of your life.”

I didn’t doubt that for one second.

Without a doubt, I was eager for what was ahead. But that didn’t mean I wanted to rush myself getting there. My baby would arrive whenever he or she was ready, and until that time came, I’d be grateful for whatever the last few weeks of pregnancy held for me.

“I still can’t believe I’m this close to the end.”

“I’m excited. I can’t wait for this little one to get here,” Brock shared, an undeniable light in his eyes.

My heart beat a little faster whenever he talked about my baby like that. To find a man like Brock who wanted to be part of my life had been enough of a shock, but that he was looking forward to meeting this baby almost as much as I was often left me pinching myself. How had I gotten so lucky?

“Do you know how much I love you?” I asked, smiling brightly at him.

Brock chuckled and gave my hand another squeeze. “You might have mentioned it once or twice.”

Our waiter returned at that moment, forcing our hands apart. She stayed around long enough to deliver our food, drinks, and extra napkins. And the next thing I knew, the conversation Brock and I had been having took a back seat while we both got a few bites in.

“Have you thought any more about names for the baby?” Brock asked.

“I have, but?—”

“But what?”

This was something I’d been struggling with, something I hadn’t brought up and discussed with Brock yet. He always offered such sound advice, so I didn’t know why I hadn’t considered bringing it up to him before now.

Shrugging, I explained, “I don’t know. I’ve got a list of names I like, but am I supposed to name this baby without his or her father’s input?”

Understanding dawned on Brock’s features. Even if he had his own thoughts about Todd, Brock never made me feel bad on the rare occasion I brought him up. He sent a look of sympathy my way and asked, “Do you think he’s going to be there?”

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