Page 23 of Burden to Bear

“Of course.”

Then I launched in and told her everything. I started at the very beginning, reminding her of how tired I’d been when I first moved into the new house. I went on to explain what prompted me to realize I’d missed my period and how I immediately went to pick up some tests just a few days before Christmas. I shared how I was scared, nervous, and finally excited about the news and couldn’t wait to share it with Todd.

Susie continued to listen intently as I revealed how things went down on Christmas Eve, and though it didn’t help her emotional state, I thought it was important to tell her the truth about the things Todd had said to me. Of course, I went on to explain how Todd never reached out to me even once since he left my house that day and how it was only when I showed up at his place that he solidified his decision for us to remain separated.

There was a small part of me that felt bad about dumping everything on Susie the way I had, but she wanted the details. She was the kind of woman who, even if devastated by learning what her brother had done and said, would never want me to keep something from her to spare her feelings.

When I finally finished sharing it all, Susie took a few moments to process everything. It was a lot to digest, so I sat patiently and gave her the time she needed.

Eventually, she said, “I don’t know what to say, Mia. I’ve got so many thoughts and feelings running through me right now. I’m shocked and hurt and embarrassed and happy and sad and excited. With some time, I’m sure I’ll settle all of that down. Most importantly, I feel compelled to tell you that I intend to be here for you in whatever way I can as you progress through this pregnancy. I cannot even begin to tell you how angry I am with my brother for his response to this news. Even if this wasn’t planned, he still has a responsibility. He’s my brother, Mia, and I know you love him or loved him, but he seems to excel at proving just how big of an idiot he is. I’m mortified to know how he’s treated you. My parents are going to feel the same. And I just hope that you don’t punish us for what he’s done or chooses to do moving forward. I’m begging you to allow me and the rest of the family to be involved in this baby’s life.”

When I finally reached out to Susie to schedule this lunch with her, I didn’t quite know what to expect. Of course, I’d assumed she already knew about the pregnancy, so I tried to remind myself that she wouldn’t have been interested in sitting down together over lunch if she felt negatively toward me about it.

But now that I’d learned she had no clue about the pregnancy, nor the real reason Todd and I split up, and was responding to it the way she just had, it was safe to say I felt like a massive weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

“I would never put my baby in the middle of adult problems,” I said, my throat tight. “Coming into this lunch today, I didn’t know what would happen, but I can’t tell you how happy I am to know that you want to be involved. And I would love, regardless of where Todd winds up in all of this, for my baby to have a relationship with his father’s family. You’re going to be an aunt, Susie. And your parents are going to be grandparents. I hope they’ll be just as excited for it as you imagine they’ll be.”

Another tear rolled down her cheek, and as she swiped at it with the tips of her fingers, she promised, “They will be. I know they will. I’m just hoping we can get my brother to wake up and realize what he’s doing before it’s too late.”

I shrugged, feeling indifferent. What Todd chose to do from this point forward couldn’t remain at the forefront of my mind. “I won’t say that I don’t hope for the same, but I’ll be honest, Susie. I don’t expect he’s going to change his mind, and I’m living my life according to that notion.”

She offered a nod of understanding in response. “I get it, and I don’t blame you. So, when exactly do I become an aunt? How far along are you now? And do you know yet if the baby is a boy or a girl?”

Recognizing that this could have gone so much differently, feeling relieved it hadn’t, I allowed myself to relish that and grinned at my friend. Then I shared all the good things I could about the pregnancy that had us both laughing, smiling, and feeling good.

By the time I left, my only regret was that I hadn’t reached out to Susie sooner.

The high of my afternoon lunch with Susie wore off approximately an hour after I had dinner.

An incessant knock at my front door had me running in that direction, and when I opened the door up, I was nearly pushed back onto my ass as Todd barged in.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” I asked him.

Todd didn’t respond and continued to move deeper into the house. I closed the door, followed behind him, and found him pacing in the living room. The last time he was here, he’d done the same exact thing. But where there’d been frustration before, it was now nothing but white-hot rage.

He came to a stop, allowed his eyes to roam over me from top to toe and back again with nothing but disgust in his expression. “You had no right.”

My brows shot up, questioning him. “Pardon?”

Todd shook his head. “You had absolutely no right to share this news about the pregnancy with my family.”

Evidently, Susie hadn’t been joking when she said she hoped to talk some sense into her brother before it was too late. “Um, I’m not sure what you think happened, but?—”

“It wasn’t your place to tell them!” he shouted.

“Okay, first of all, you aren’t going to yell at me,” I ordered. “If you care to discuss this, I’m happy to do so, but you will not be disrespectful to me in the process.”

Todd narrowed his eyes in response, his chest heaving with the fury he very clearly felt. He hadn’t ever been physically violent with me, but I was beginning to wonder if I had a reason to be fearful now. The worst thing I could do was let him believe I was afraid.

I took a moment, a deep breath, and one last long look in silence at Todd before I shared, “I had no intention of telling your family the news about the pregnancy, Todd. It’s been weeks, and I assumed you had already done it. I mean, they had been expecting me to show up with you on Christmas Eve, and when I didn’t, I imagined they didn’t just ignore that. Maybe I didn’t suspect you shared the news that day, but it’s been weeks since then.”

“You should have asked me about it before you went blabbing the news to my sister,” he clipped.

“And I told you I would not be reaching out again after you all but threw those ultrasound photos back in my face,” I reminded him. “I’m sorry you thought I was lying.”

“You said that you wouldn’t be reaching out to me about being involved in the baby’s life or your life. You didn’t say anything about you talking to my family,” he countered.

I was dumbfounded. Was this guy serious? “Please tell me you’re joking,” I begged. “Do you honestly believe I would have called you for anything after the way you’ve handled this? Not only that, but I’ll repeat, I assumed your family already knew the truth. It’s not my fault that you chose to keep it from them. Plus, you know that Susie and I are friendly with each other. Did you think we’d never discuss it?”

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