Page 12 of Burden to Bear

Over the last couple of weeks, I’d been doing my best to settle into my new home, trying to find a routine that worked for me, and adjusting to the changes in my life all while leaning into my desire to celebrate the holiday season with those who mattered to me. I’d even continued to meet new neighbors while having the occasional conversation with those I’d already met. Things had also improved with Brock ever since I’d gone over to clear the air with him, and Todd seemed to be in a better mood lately as well.

Despite everything, it had all been such a massive change, and though I knew it was coming when I decided to make the move, it was much more difficult to adjust to than I had anticipated it would be.

That didn’t mean I was upset about it.

I loved it.

I loved being where I was now.

I just didn’t feel fully settled yet, even though I’d successfully unpacked the remaining boxes at my house.

Part of that unsettled feeling might have had something to do with the fact that I still felt completely exhausted, more than I ever had in my whole life. I had assumed it was all the result of the numerous changes and excitement happening over the last few weeks.

Never, not once, had I considered there could be another reason for the fatigue I’d been feeling.

Now, I realized precisely what I’d overlooked, and it was safe to say I was panicking.

I hadn’t gotten my period in… weeks? More weeks than it should have been. Off the top of my head, I knew the last time I’d had it was some time before Thanksgiving, maybe a week or two prior. My mind was spinning with so many thoughts, it seemed I couldn’t quite remember anything important right now.

I made it to my car and didn’t hesitate to zip out of the lot as quickly as I could. I drove straight to the pharmacy, grabbed two different pregnancy tests, and was out the door in a flash.

Speeding wasn’t typically something I did, but in this case, all I wanted was to get home as fast as I could to confirm my suspicions.

When I pulled into my driveway, I didn’t even stop to grab the mail. On the bright side, Brock wasn’t outside grabbing his mail like usual, since I was getting home later than I normally would have.

I raced inside, climbed the stairs, and ripped open the first test as fast as I could. The next thing I knew, I was pacing back and forth while I waited for the results, and there wasn’t any emotion I didn’t feel move through me. I was nervous, excited, scared, and everything in between.

It couldn’t have been much longer than a minute when I stopped pacing and leaned over to look at the test.

Pregnant.

It hadn’t even taken the full three minutes to give me the result.

Oh, God.

Oh, man.

I was pregnant. I was going to have a baby.

I didn’t know what to feel or how to think.

I picked up the test and inspected it once more, wondering if perhaps the result was going to change. Could it? Would it?

Shaking my head, I muttered to myself, “You’re pregnant, Mia. You know it’s not going to change.”

Several moments passed, and all I could seem to do was stare at my reflection in the bathroom mirror.

I was going to be a mom. Todd was going to be a dad. This was crazy.

But it was beautiful. We’d created a life, and maybe the timing wasn’t exactly the best, but we could do it. We could make it work.

This was a gift. A real gift.

It was on that thought, I knew exactly what I was going to do.

Todd and I were going to be having Christmas Eve dinner with his family on Sunday, since they lived just thirty minutes away in the next town, and my family was going to be coming to spend Christmas Day with us.

I’d give Todd an early Christmas present on Sunday before we went to dinner, and we could truly celebrate the season. It was going to be magical.

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