Page 87 of Burden to Bear

Without thinking twice about it, Brock suggested, “So, why don’t you tell her you’d like to get together to talk to her? She is going to be your baby’s aunt, and if you want to preserve that relationship, I think it’s a good idea to clear the air, so you don’t have to wonder.”

The level of maturity Brock demonstrated was unparalleled. He didn’t even flinch at the thought of me continuing to have a relationship with the family of my baby’s father. “Do you know how amazing I think you are?”

A proud smile washed over him. “It’s simple, Mia. Don’t get yourself worked up over something that’s not necessary.”

As Brock got back to working on breakfast, I tapped out a response to Susie, letting her know that I was okay and that I’d be happy to get together with her one day over the following week.

By the time I worked out the details with her, Brock had breakfast ready. It smelled utterly divine and looked even better.

“I’m starved,” I said, immediately lifting my fork and knife in my hands. “Thank you for cooking.”

Brock leaned toward me, kissed me, and said, “You’re welcome.”

We ate in comfortable silence for a few beats. After all that we’d done this morning and the later hour, I was ravenous. But following a few minutes and several bites of the delicious toast, I said, “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“I’m still trying to come to terms with the fact that we’re here now, and this one question keeps popping up.”

“What is it?”

I popped another bite of toast into my mouth and chewed as I considered how to phrase my question. Once I swallowed, I said. “I feel incredibly happy right now. I’m so glad we shared our feelings for one another with each other last night, but I guess I’m sitting here wondering how we did it. How did we get this far, knowing how we’ve been feeling for so long, without saying something to each other sooner?”

Brock took a minute to consider his answer to my question, which I appreciated. I liked knowing that he wasn’t going to just rush to respond and wanted to give me a meaningful response.

I waited patiently, and eventually, he shared, “Obviously, I can’t say what it is that had you not revealing your feelings, but I doubt they are the same as mine. As I said to you several times now, I was attracted to you from the start. But once I knew you were no longer with your ex, I had to take a bigger step back and look at everything from your perspective. It would have been easy to pursue you, to try to have this sooner. But I couldn’t risk it. You were dealing with a lot of change in a short time with the move, the pregnancy, and the break-up. As much as I wanted you, I didn’t want to be the rebound guy. I wanted to be someone who had the potential to go the distance with you, and I didn’t think that would be possible if I pushed and rushed you into something before you were ready for it.”

He paused, but I could tell he wasn’t finished. So, I continued to eat and replay in my mind what he’d already said.

Finally, he continued, “I don’t know if I should share this, but I might as well. Not long after you moved in, right before Christmas, my brother had stopped over to drop off Izzy, so he could do some Christmas shopping for her. You had been outside decorating for Christmas, and my brother made mention of you. I reacted in a way that told him all he needed to know. Ultimately, I admitted I was attracted to you, and when he encouraged me to go after you, I had to tell him about Todd. Of course, I shared how I thought your ex was a jerk to you, and Chris told me that I should prove to you that I’m the better man, that I was the man you deserved to have. So, that’s what I tried to do. Ever since, I’ve been trying to show you what kind of man I am. I fought against the feelings I had for you and just tried to be someone you could trust and depend on.”

All this time.

Months.

Brock had been putting in the effort with me for months with no guarantee that he’d ever get what he hoped to get out of it. He hadn’t been wrong about what he was trying to do, though.

“You succeeded,” I said softly. “You proved to me that you were the better man.”

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

Brock’s hand was on my thigh, giving me a gentle squeeze, before he said, “I know you didn’t come to the realization that you were in love until last night, but you knew you were feeling something for me over these last couple of months. Why didn’t you say anything?”

Unlike him, I didn’t need to take any time to consider my answer to that question. I’d pondered the what ifs for so long. I knew exactly why I hadn’t dared to say a word. “You deserved better,” I blurted.

Confusion washed over him, his brows pulling together. “Pardon?”

Was there an edge of anger in his tone? Surely, I had to have been imagining that.

My eyes roamed over his face. Following a beat of hesitation, I explained, “I’ve never met anyone else like you, Brock. There are so many things about you that are admirable, that anyone would easily find themselves falling for. I wanted to tell you; I struggled with trying not to read too much into things you said or did. Because I thought you could have anyone you wanted, so why would you ever want a woman who’s pregnant with another man’s child?”

For a long time, Brock didn’t respond. He didn’t even move. He simply sat there with a look of disbelief on his face. The moment was tense, and I had a feeling he wasn’t going to hold back when he finally said whatever was going through his mind.

“Do you think that you winding up pregnant and being left by your ex makes you unlovable? Are you suddenly not the woman you were before?” he questioned me.

My breathing grew shallow, and I offered a slight shake of my head in response. “No,” I rasped. “It’s just that I don’t think anyone signs up for something like this. It’s not your burden to bear.”

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