Page 59 of Burden to Bear

Returning my attention to Izzy, I insisted, “I’m sure the summer is going to fly by, and before you know it, you’ll be back at school with all of your friends again.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Oh, can you turn this song up? It’s one of my favorites.”

As I turned around in my seat again, Brock turned up the radio. And for the next few minutes, we drove along listening to the music and the sweet tender sounds of Izzy’s singing.

And it was during those moments when it hit me.

I wanted this.

I wanted what this day represented.

Sure, I was merely on a friendly day trip with my neighbor and his niece, but I liked how it felt.

My mind drifted, and I quickly found myself dreaming of a future with Brock, imagining what it could be like. Would we have this? Would we have impromptu days of fun at home like we did last weekend, or would we plan trips out to places like the beach like this?

The sense of longing that washed over me was almost enough to have me bursting into tears. At one point, Brock looked over at me, and there was a clear look of concern in his expression. Whether it was because Izzy was there or he already knew what was going through my mind, he didn’t ask me to elaborate on what I was feeling.

Instead, he sent a sweet smile my way as he reached across the center console, curled his fingers around my forearm, and offered a gentle and reassuring squeeze.

I had no verbal confirmation that Brock understood what was happening inside my head, but his physical gestures indicated he knew enough to know I needed something. And he didn’t hesitate to give it to me.

Yeah.

It was no surprise I longed for this.

For a man like him.

Or maybe, just him.

Someone who cared more about the person they were with than themselves. I’d made a lot of choices in my life. Many of them were good, some were great. And I’d made some not-so-great choices, too. I didn’t like to think about having regrets in my life. Things happened the way they did, and overall, I believed I was precisely where I was supposed to be. But if there was one thing I could unequivocally say I had no regrets about, it was Brock. My life was much richer having him in it, even if I’d never have him in all the ways I wished I could.

My thoughts, Izzy’s singing, and a few fun conversations later, we’d arrived at the beach. It was a gorgeous day—not too hot, but still too cold to find ourselves needing to cool off in the water. Plus, being right on the coast, there was a nice breeze, which made it feel like the perfect spring day.

For the first two hours after we stepped onto the sand, the three of us simply relished being where we were. Izzy was keen on finding shells and running toward the water. We all stood in the wet sand, allowing the waves to crash at our ankles before the water drifted back from the shore. Izzy got the biggest kick over our feet sinking into the wet sand.

Eventually, we made our way back to the area where Brock had set up a chair for me and a big beach blanket for him and Izzy. They played in the sand for a while, building castles and using the beach toys he’d brought along for her. And when lunch time had arrived, we were all eager to fill our bellies.

“So, what do you think, buttercup? Has this been a fun day so far?” Brock asked her as I worked on pulling out the sandwiches I’d prepared.

“The most fun. I wish we could come to the beach every day,” Izzy declared.

Brock chuckled. “I can’t say I disagree with you on that. We’ll have to plan another trip here later this summer.”

“I’m so glad you’re enjoying yourself here, Izzy. I hope I can make this day even more fun with some surprises I’ve got for you,” I said, joining the conversation.

“I love surprises!”

Pulling the sandwiches out of the bag I’d packed, I held them up and said, “I made special peanut butter sandwiches. There’s no jelly on them, but I did add something special. I hope you like it, but if you don’t, I packed a regular one for you just in case.”

“Did you cut it into a shape, too?” Izzy asked.

“I did. I knew how much you liked that, so I got some cookie cutters earlier in the week. I didn’t find any butterflies, though.”

Izzy took the sandwich from me, while Brock took the other. She inspected it and announced, “It’s a seashell.”

I smiled brightly at her.

“What about yours, Uncle Brock? What shape did you get?”

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